Charm is a perplexing concept to a lot of people.
Many cannot really articulate what charm is but would easily recognize when they have been charmed by a person…when they are in the presence of a charming person.
There is almost an enchantment that takes them out of their ordinary lives into a world of wonder, a world of magic, the time of a blink of a eye.
So what exactly is charm and what makes a person charming? Are people born with it, or can a person develop the skill of being charming? and if so, how to be more charming?
My post is going to answer these questions.
What is Charm
In the dictionary, Charm is defined as “the power or quality of delighting, attracting, or fascinating others”. It is derived from the Latin word Carmen which means “song”,” verse”or “incantation” that is tight to the casting of a magical spell.
In the context of dating and relationships, charming women are reportedly attractive, addictive and almost intoxicating, women who capture men’s attention beyond their looks to the point of fascination.
In an increasingly more rational world, I believe that men secretly desire to be charmed and enchanted by a woman more than ever before, which is something they encounter very rarely.
That is why becoming a charming woman will give you an incredible edge over other women. A women is not born charming and not all women are naturally charming. Charm is a skill that can be learned at any time and many women developed that skills by observing other charming people in action.
Here is the modus operandi
Beauty is in the imperfection and vulnerability.
A well placed sign of vulnerability is incredibly charming to men.
Be comfortable sharing an insecurity or a scare from the past. It will make you look more human and make him able to relate to you and feel closer to you.
At the same time, it will reveal to him the depth of your character and that there is more about you than what his eyes can see.
Only people who can live with their insecurities are confident enough to share them…and confidence expressed through vulnerability is incredibly charming.
Feminine body language
There are certain body languages that are more charming than others, use it to your advantage.
Smile, smile and smile. its charming power is undeniable.
Be aware of the way you carry yourself and learn how to move with grace.
Make flawless and slow moves when you carry a glass or when you pick up your bag.
Work on your voice and the way you speak, slow down your speech and make sure to always keep the volume down.
Wear flattering clothes that accentuate your curves and choose colors according to your skin tone.
Here is an excellent book on femininity if you want to learn about how to be femininely beautiful “The Lost Art of True Beauty: The Set-Apart Girl’s Guide to Feminine Grace” by Leslie Ludy
The art of listening
A charming woman listens more than she speaks, she is a master in the art of listening.
So if you want to be charming, you need to learn how to get out of your head and place all of your attention on your interlocutor, that way, you signal that you do care about what he has to say.
You also give him space to reveal himself to you and a chance for you to observe and learn more about him while remaining a mystery by not revealing too much about yourself.
Once you learn more about him, you can use a well placed and subtle flattery here and there, but be genuine when doing so.
Be a source of pleasure
A charming woman is always associated with pleasure and joy and never with problems and drama.
People in general, and men in particular, do not really want to hear about your problems, especially early on in the relationship.
It reminds them of their own problems that they are attempting to escape in your company so they subconsciously become repelled by you and will want to avoid your company altogether. You should have friends or family or your therapist for that.
To be a charming woman, you need to aim to be pleasant at many levels:
- Pleasant to the eye, by making the effort of looking your absolute best.
- Pleasant to other senses like smelling really good, so always wear a perfume and choose it very carefully because your smell leaves a mark into people’s mind.
- Be fun, joyful and happy. Avoid talking about your work-related or family problems. Avoid controversial topics and focus on light and fun conversations.
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Calmness and patience
Calmness and self-possession are important qualities of a charming woman.
In our modern societies, everyone is incredibly busy, always rushing after things.
So it is only natural to be charmed in the presence of a calm person who give us a sense of peacefulness and quietness.
A charming woman is never in a hurry, always composed and rarely shows impatience. She rarely losses her temper.
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The art of subtlety
Subtlety is the art of conveying ideas, opinions or feelings in an indirect way, and to be a charming woman, you need to master the art of subtlety.
A charming woman avoids directness and uses indirect suggestions instead.
She uses silence combined with fine gestures to express her opinion.
She also use insinuations by playing with words to convey her message.
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