Is it not always possible to get an ex back, especially if the relationship was too damaged, or too much time has passed since you split.
But it does not mean that you should not try, many happy couples have split at least once in their relationship and when they got back together, their love was only strengthen from the breakup.
So If you believe it’s not completely over and want to give yourself the best chances to win your ex over ( or not screw them at the very least), there is a specific way to go about it which I am going to describe in this blog post.
This 5 steps plan is counter intuitive and is anything but what your brain is telling you to do right now but it works if the relationship isn’t beyond repair.
The reason you need a plan is because all that your brain is telling you to do will get your ex further away.
A breakup is a trauma that put you in a state of pain, confusion and sometimes panic which will inevitably lead you to make the wrong moves and will seriously hurt your chances of winning your ex over.
This plan will take some time, as you need to create some distance between you and your ex in order for the plan to work.
And the good thing is that this plan will make you a better person regardless of the outcome, so even if you don’t get your ex back, your chances to meet someone even more awesome will be higher.
Let’s get to it.
1. Stop your neediness
90% of people react to losing someone with neediness.
So don’t worry you are absolutely normal if you are needy right now. It is an instinctive reaction that very few people are able to control.
If you just have been dumped, you are going to be in pain and your brain will force you to do anything to give it some relief.
You might be tempted to keep calling and texting your ex, wanting to hear his voice, desperate for some affection, you might go as far as begging him to change his mind and get back to you.
The issue with this instinctive behavior is that it does just the opposite of what it is mean to achieve.
The desperation and neediness repels most people and will push your ex even further away from you…Guaranteed
Nobody is attracted to a miserable person, so if you do that you might screw the slimmest chance to get him back.
I know it is easier said than done, but this is not the time to let your neediness dictate what you do.
Stay composed, cry on your own in your room and let the pain settle because eventually it will fade away.
2. Implement the No contact rule
This one is important to follow strictly because reaching out to your ex shortly after the breakup will undermine every other effort you make to get him back to you.
The breakup happened because your man needed some space. He may want to refocus on himself or meet new people. You should really not interfere in this process.
So don’t reach out to him through calls or text and don’t like his social media post. Just leave him alone and follow the rule strictly.
I know it is hard to follow but it does work.
3. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself
This is where the magic happens. and I am not saying it lightly.
If you want your ex back, you need to become a person that he does not recognize 6 months from now ( for some it could be 1 month or could take longer).
He needs to be so surprised when he sees you that you appear almost like a new person that he needs to impress and conquer…you follow me?
So how do you do this?
Well you first need to work on your mindset,
If you have been through a breakup, your confidence and self-esteem likely took a hit, so you need to convince yourself that you do deserve to become better and that you deserve the best in relationships.
- Read mindset books that will make you feel good about yourself
2. Take care of yourself physically and mentally by eat healthy, getting back in shape, losing weight, spending time doing things you love, nurturing your feminine nature.
3. Upgrade your looks, probably the most important step to take, change your style, buy new clothes, get a makeover, new haircut, upgrade your make up, everything about your looks has to be levelled-up because when your ex will see you again, you need to give him the illusion that you are out of his league now.
It is very simple, you need to assess every aspect of yourself and work on them one by one.
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4. Date other guys
I know this is counter intuitive, because if you want you ex back, probably the only person you want to date is him and you have no interest whatsoever in dating anyone else.
But that’s when you need to force yourself to do something where you don’t see the benefits immediately.
Dating other guys will do 3 things:
- It will boost your confidence and will make you feel very good about yourself being pursued and courted by other guys. Note that not all guys you are going to date will like you which is why you need to go on many many dates.
- It will show you that the world is not limited to your ex and that there are other guys out there. Even when you are still dreaming of getting back with your ex, dating other guys will give you a wider perspective and will widen your vision.
- Most importantly, your ex will see you in a very different light because now you are desired by other guys. Men want what they cannot have, and they value what other men find valuable, especially if these men are on a higher social level.
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5. Rebuild attraction with your ex
After completing all the previous steps, now you can reach out to your ex with a casual text, or a simple follows you on Instagram, or a like on a Facebook post.
Make sure you updated your social media profile pictures to reflect the new person you have become, and while you are reconnecting with your ex, avoid saying that you missed him or that you are still thinking about him but talk to him like you would do with any other guy. Be charming but not flirty and see if he gets flirty.
I wish you the best of luck.
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