Becoming a high value woman starts from having the right mindset.
Any tactical strategies or isolated tips and advice, if not combined with a real mindset shift, are not effective and will never work.
Being a high value woman is 90 % of how you feel about yourself (which is predicted by your mindset) and only 10 % of how you communicate it to the world through your actions, your body language, and how you treat yourself.
And it is how you feel about yourself which determines how you behave most of the time.
So when you are trying to follow tactics in order to come across as a high value woman without working on the actual mindset of your high value, you can only do it for so long, maybe the time of a date, or a weekend getaway, or even for a few months into a relationship
…but sooner or later your real you (and how you really feel about yourself) will resurface when the unexpected happens.
If you are serious about becoming a high value woman, you need to develop the mindset that can produce on demand the text messages, the phrases, body language, and the attitude of a high value woman.
In this post, I am sharing the top 3 mindset shifts that you need to have in order to become a high value woman.
You can also check out my more detailed post on the 9 mindsets of a high value woman
1. “I determine my value” mindset
This is so sooo important to understand.
If you want to become a high value woman, you need to realize that you should be the only person who determines your own value.
A high value woman does not allow something or someone outside of herself to dictate her worth…not her family, not her friends, not her partner or society.
People and your partner in particular, will always have different opinions about you, and that is okay, but this should not become the basis of your value.
Most of the time, people’s opinions depend on their emotional state too, their insecurities, and their ego…very rarely would you receive an unbiased opinion that is meant to help you grow and improve yourself…which is why I do not listen to random opinions, especially unsolicited ones.
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You probably heard stories of amazing women, who looked happy and fulfilled before getting with someone,
only to lose all their spark and joy and became so miserable being in a relationship.
Often it is because their partner planted the seeds of low value in their minds.
Often it is because they allowed it.
A high value woman will never allow this to happen.
A high value woman separates herself and her worth from any external inputs. period
2. High intention low attachment mindset
High intention low attachment is a different way of saying, “Do your absolute best to get what you want but have a very low expectation about it”, or “hope for the best but plan for the worst” and this is the secret behind a high value woman success.
Yes, she shows and gives her best self, as if she was potentially in presence of the love of her life, yet she builds little to no expectations and has very little attachment to the outcome of a relationship if she has not been given solid reasons to do so, even when she really likes the guy and when he ticks most of her boxes.
She thinks that if it does not work out with him, there are many others who would line up to be in a relationship with her (and she truly believes it).
This mindset allows the high value woman to behave in a way that communicates her low attachment and shows confidence in herself, and that does not go unnoticed.
It also allows her to not let her emotions get into the way of seeing things for what they really are and avoid making poor decisions.
I learned this principle from the book “The Success Principles” by Jack Canfield. The book is not about relationships but its principles can be applied in any situation in life.
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When you start expecting things to happen that depend on someone else, that’s when you lose power over yourself and you become low value.
This is how you achieve this mindset:
- You need to remember that relationships (or any human interactions) are uncertain by nature and that feelings need to be reciprocated in order to allow yourself to develop any sort of attachment. In other words, your attachment should be conditional. Not given for free.
- You should always have at the back of your mind that not all men you like will like you back…In fact, it is a rare occurrence in life.
- You should expect everything from yourself and nothing from other people.
- Realizing that people come and go is part of life but you simply cannot afford to experience it as the end of the world each time someone leaves your life.
- You need to have full confidence in your ability to attract as many quality men as you want ( on demand) and that you always have options (abundance mindset, see the point … below).
- Don’t fear a negative outcome of a relationship because you always assume it is your base scenario.
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3. “Take it or leave it” mindset
Nobody is perfect.
There is always room for improvement and a well-lived life is a perpetual process of self-improvement if you ask me.
But sometimes even when you are doing your best, there will always be people who won’t be satisfied and will expect more from you.
The thing with a high value woman is that she was not waiting around for any man to come into her life and ask her to improve herself, She already has that mindset.
So when she comes across someone who is not happy or is dissatisfied with the way she is, she has a “take it or leave it” attitude.
It is not by any means an arrogant attitude, it simply means that she knows her worth as she is right now and will not sell herself short to anyone.
A high value woman knows that she has a lot to offer, starting from herself, so she is not trying to convince anyone to see her value.
A man has to deserve to be in her life and one way he can show this to her is by recognizing her worth just the way she is NOW.
That’s not to say that a man should not expect a woman to adjust or to compromise or even to improve certain things, but he should not be expecting changes in the essence of who she is.
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If somebody is asking you right away to change something major about yourself, chances are you were not his first choice in the first place, and you do not want to be anyone’s second choice.
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It will take you deep into a man’s mind and psychology and will demystify what men really want and need for you.
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Also, grab your FREE “Attraction triggers in a man” guide.
Thanks for reading this post,