No woman wants to be someone’s second choice; No woman wants to find out that her man is only settling for her.
We all want to be in a genuine relationship, to be genuinely loved and cherished, that we were chosen among many women. We want our man to be with us for who we are and not to have a hidden agenda.
In a perfect world, nobody should settle for less than what they want and deserve.
Unfortunately, the world is far from being perfect and sometimes what looks like genuine love at first glance may not be.
Not all men will hold themselves to the high standards and never settle for less than what they want. They can be lazy and settle for their second choice out of convenience or because they believe that that’s the best they can do for the time being. Demeaning isn’t it…and so unfair on these women?
And even more sad is the fact that when a man who settled suddenly meets his dream girl, the girl that he really wants, he can walk away and never turn back like his woman never existed, no matter much time and energy she invested in the relationship.
Needless to say that being in such a relationship sucks, even if it feels alright for now.
It is more common that what we think and I urge any woman who has the slightest doubt about her man to check out for the 10 signs that will tell you if he is settling for you and just cut her losses if it is the case.
1. Lack of enthusiasm
Someone who is only settling for you will lack enthusiasm in most of his interactions with you. He will not be as excited making plans for date nights or travel as you may be. you will feel like he’d rather be somewhere else.
2. You are not a priority
If he is constantly putting other people before you, be it his friends, his family or even co-workers, he might be settling for you. someone who truly cares for you and loves you will have you as his top priority and will put you before anyone else.
3. Dissatisfaction with you
Do you feel your man is mad at you for almost no reason? that is because he is only settling for you, That is because he is angry at himself that he is not with his first choice. and because he does not know how to deal with his own anger, he redirect it towards you. That’s why you guys are arguing so much for little things, that is why he is passive aggressive, that is why he is blaming you for almost everything that goes wrong in his life. nothing personal here, you just need to get out before your self esteem is too damaged.
4. When you feel he is ready to walk away any time
Do you feel you are walking on eggshells with your guy, because you feel it won’t take much for him to walk away? Are you afraid of expressing your feelings and opinions, because you know deep down that he is always ready to walking away. Having a foot in and foot out is one of the biggest signs he is only settling for you.
5. He is happier with other people, especially other women.
if he lacks enthusiasm with you but he suddenly becomes happier in other people’s company, especially other women. he is more charming, he is nicer, more polite, trying to impress them but he never makes any efforts for you, he might be settling for you.
6. Intimacy is mechanical
A guy can pretend to be happy in a relationship in so many ways but there is one thing that he can never pretend to be happy with, that is intimacy. If a guy is not too attracted to you ( at least not in the way that a truly in love guy would be) cannot hide in in intimate moments. if your intimacy is too mechanical and is lacking passion and enthusiasm, he might very well be settling for you.
7. If he is cheating on you
Cheating is not always a sign that he is settling because he could be cheating for other reasons ( maybe you refuse to do certain things that other women are okay with), but overall cheating is a strong sign of dissatisfaction with the intimacy aspect of the relationship which suggest that he is okay being with you as long as he can has a side girl.
8. If you provide for him
Another sign he is only settling for you is if you feel he is only there for what you provide for him, if he is with you out of convenience. Maybe he needs shelter and you have your own place, maybe you have a stable job and he is jobless.
9. If you are too far away from his “type”
if you find yourself wondering how come your man picked you because you are not exactly his “type” in fact you are far from it, he might be just settling with you because he does not have the confidence that he will one day be with someone his type.
10. If you feel you need to be a completely different person for him to be happy with you
Not only looks wise, but personality wise, the way you are, the way you think, the way you behave. If he is constantly trying to change you, constantly criticizing you and what you do. then he might be settling for you hoping that you will change and become the person he really wants to be with.
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