Most people don’t think of divorce when they do the walk-down-the-aisle. Most people have the best intentions in mind when they get married.
But even with the best intentions, marriages can crumble over time otherwise divorce rates would not be as high as they are nowadays – and divorce lawyers would not be as wealthy -.
With that in mind, I think married people should always be aware of the possibility of divorce for their own sake and look out for the signs so that it does not come as a surprise.
Side note: If you did not know, one of the most lucrative careers a lawyer can pursue is family law and divorce in particular.
I am saying this because my own divorce came as a big surprise to me because I did not think for one second of the possibility of divorce during my marriage despite some signs being quite alarming.
So if you want to know some of the unmistakable signs that your marriage may be headed for divorce…keep reading.
The following signs are those that I personally missed but I was able to identify in retrospect and some are from my fellow divorcee women from a women’s divorce support group on Facebook.
1. When trust is lost
2. When he is stonewalling you
3. When they start being controlling
4. When you tell them how what they said or did upset you and they tell you it’s your fault
5. When their social life is prioritized over your family life
6. When they cheat, apologize once and then act as nothing has happened
7. When they cheat and get other women pregnant
8. When you become indifferent toward each other. Not just resentful. Not bitter. Not super sad or depressed. Just indifferent
9. When you try and communicate how you feel and the other person doesn’t listen or listens and doesn’t care about what you have said
10. When you feel like you are having the same conversation over and over again and the other person isn’t listening
11. When he no longer cares about you and your feelings
12. When affection and emotional connection is lost and he has become cold, distant, and avoidant
13. When he no longer cares about solving the problems and fixing the issues
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14. When videos games are a priority over you
15. When all of a sudden becomes surgically attached to his phone and freaks out if you come near it
16. When he is irritated and blames you for the smallest dumbest things on you when you weren’t even involved or weren’t anywhere in your control (i.e. the weather or traffic)
17. When he moved in with other women
18. When respect is lost
19. When the thought of them leaving you sound more of a beautiful fantasy than a nightmare
20. When you realize he didn’t really want me and that he just liked having someone to cook and clean and do everything outside of working
21. When you feel unappreciated for doing the cooking, the cleaning, and all the work around the house
22. No sex for many years, no intimacy
23. When you no longer communicate – not even to argue
24. When he never wants to spend time with you and you no longer hang out together
25. When you find yourself having the same fights over and over with no resolution
26. When you feel nothing for them anymore
27. When you spend Holidays apart
28. Emotionally and mentally clocking out
29. When you aren’t happy and can’t see the rest of your life that way
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30. When you have had enough of the bullshit
31. When you search for divorce support groups on Facebook
32. You can’t communicate without a rebuttal or getting defensive
33. When one side in the marriage is having an emotional relationship with another person that is more important than their relationship with their partner
34. When you are not willing to give it another try
35. When you feel contempt for them
36. When they invent any excuse not to be home and stay at work very late
37. When you feel relief when he left the home for work
38. When he sleeps through the labor with a child
39. When the thought of having sex with him is just repulsive
40. I would get jealous of divorced women or women who were single
41. When you have fallen out of love
42. When you are resentful
43. The unwillingness to compromise and work with each other
44. When neither party ceases to put effort into the marriage
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45. When you start questioning if divorce is a possibility
46. When there is no more physical closeness and affection, you stop kissing, cuddling, hugging
47. When he has a disregard for the family financial stability
48. When he keeps too many secrets from you
49. When one is hard-hearted
50. When abuse has taken place in your marriage: financial, verbal, emotional, physical
51. When you start wanting to lose weight and hit the gym
52. When you feel and are abandonment in EVERY sense of the word – emotionally physically, socially, and financially
53. When you start dreading coming home at the end of the day, instead of looking forward to it
54. When he no longer answers phone calls and stops returning texts
55. When he refuses to change when he refuses to go to couple’s counseling
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56. When in-laws control the marriage because their opinion weighs more than yours
57. He respects everyone else more and it’s very obvious he treats everyone else with more respect than you
58. When he ignores your cultural heritage in favor and wants to impose his way of life
59. Too much silence
60. When you live completely separate lives under one roof
61. When you talk bad about each other to other people
62. When he says one thing but his actions are stating other things
63. When you can imagine your life without him and you are annoyed more than excited to be with him
64. Pronouns: when his sentences don’t include “we”, “us”, “let’s”, “ ours”
65. You know he has stopped seeing you in his future
66. When they “roll” their eyes when you speak
67. When there are too many unexplained absences
68. When you have a gut feeling about it
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Thanks for reading this post,