This post is all about the top mistakes that I find women make in dating that keep them single in perpetuity.
Reflect on the below list and remind yourself not to make these mistakes and you will see a change in no time.
1. Looking for someone so that you can finally be happy and complete
Actively looking for someone to complete you is the best way to never feel complete…
Some women, especially those with little experience, think that their partner will complete them and make them whole.
Little do they know that this feeling of being complete which comes from the relationship alone is just an illusion.
I have the same expectations a few years ago but then I realize that my partner’s job is not to complete me or to make me happy, that is my job.
In fact, a partner has his own issues of feeling incomplete…
Nobody will complete you if you are not complete by yourself.
Nobody will make you happy if you are not happy on your own.
You need to feel whole on your own and then look for a relationship to share your feeling of completeness with a partner who is on the same healthy frequency.
Here are some signs that you do not feel complete:
- You think your life will start when you get into a relationship
- You do not have your own direction in life and are waiting for the relationship to give you some direction…in fact, your only direction in life is to find a partner
- You feel deeply sad and lonely and you cannot wait to meet someone to finally be happy
- You expect to spend most of your time with your partner because you just can’t stand being on your own or you are easily bored being with yourself
- You are obsessively thinking about finding a partner
What you need to do instead is to use your time while you are single to connect with yourself,
learn about what excites you in life, what makes you wonder.
Become obsessed with yourself and your well-being.
Be excellent at whatever you do for a living. Reflect on your past mistakes so that you can prepare for a better future.
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2. Not Doing the inner work on yourself before dating
From the day we are born until we meet someone, we go through all sorts of traumatizing experiences that affect us to various degrees,
some of which took place as early as in our childhood and left us badly wounded, and are affecting our adult life in ways we do not expect.
Most psychologists even think that our childhood shapes most of our adulthood life and most people are completely unaware of that fact.
So when you meet someone and you have not fixed your emotional issues (assuming that you are aware of them), you expose yourself and your partner to a lot of potential trouble,
Because he may ( he actually will for sure ) say or do things that seem very innocent to him but will have the effect of reviving (reactivating) your wounds and bring to the surface all the unsorted issues…
and the same goes for him…if he has not yet sorted his own issues, he will be reacting to things you may do or say innocently ( and trust me you will) but will reactivate some of his unhealed wounds…
So for you to avoid a lot of drama, you need to sort out yourself before getting into the dating game,
you need to do the inner work on your own, and take the time to heal yourself.
Only after that, you can hope to get into a relationship in a healthy way.
3. Not doing rotational dating when looking for a partner
In other words, you are not dating multiple men at a time when looking for your ideal partner.
There are a few reasons why not dating multiple men at the same time is a big mistake for women.
First of all, we women are more inclined to get emotionally attached to a man quickly.
We are simply more emotional, adding to that the fact that if you have been searching for a long time, you might deep down feel more desperate than in normal time which makes you more vulnerable to quick emotional attachment, even if you do not want to admit it to yourself.
Second, men are also doing it..
Third, dating is a numbers game, so
Fourth, your vibe is completely different and makes you more desirable to men when you are dating other men, you feel more confident subconsciously.
Fifth, to have options, it is important in today’s world to always have options.
I know you were told differently by your grandmother, but trust me you want to have options even when you think you have found the one.
The reason being that the person you want does not necessarily always want you back, and even when they do, they could change their mind along the way and it can be very painful to deal with that when you don’t have something to fall back on.
(I know that because it happened to me and I have no options because I was a “good” girl, so I suggest you do not make the same mistakes I did, it may have made me a stronger woman today, but if I had a choice I would still give myself more options to feel safe.
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4. Giving wifey benefits and being loyal to someone without having it back
(Unless there are special circumstances where they cannot get married). Women should not do the cook and clean thing or offer sex on demand while dating.
That’s a marriage or at least a committed relationship privilege.
I am sure you heard a story of some guy leaving his long-term girlfriend who has done all these wifey things for some other girl that he likes more.
Unless a woman sees a ring on her finger, she should not give wifey benefits and she is still single and very much available.
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5. Being available after he ghosted you
The number of stories I heard about guys ghosting girls after they dated them, only to come back later as if nothing happened,
and when being asked where they disappeared and what happened, they come up with the most ridiculous nonsense stories and excuses.
In my opinion, if this is happening to you, it is a mistake to even give him chance to explain himself, unless you are interested in behavioral sciences and you want to take him as a case study.
But the real mistake here is to actually buy into his story and give him a second chance.
Seriously, a man who is truly interested in a woman does not ghost her under any circumstances, unless he was being hospitalized or something.
In fact, most men, when they meet that woman they really like get very insecure about her and they do not take a chance, they are their 200%.
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Thanks for reading this post,