When I was single, I always wondered how to get men to approach me.
I was not comfortable approaching men and above all, I did not want to.
I did have a few men approaching me on some occasions.
I had a guy once asking me to take artistic pictures of me, which I politely declined but I was very much flattered by the proposal.
Another random encounter stopped me as I was going home and passing by a hotel and invited me for a coffee at the hotel.
So yeah I did have a few men approach me, but the majority of the time, I did all the wrong things to get the men to come to talk to me.
For example, when I was out with my friends, I would be surrounded by men yet no man would approach me.
None of that made sense to me because in theory, I am more likely to get approached when I am dressed up looking good, and going to a place where the main purpose is to meet someone.
The more I thought about it the more I started seeing a pattern of when I was getting approached and when I was not getting approached.
I noticed that I got approached when I had a combination of 3 things that I call the AAW formula to getting approached (Alone, Attractive, Welcoming).
Here is what it is:
1. Do most of your activities alone
90% of the time, I got approached when I was ALONE.
The remaining 10% I got approached when I was accompanied by ONE other person (could be my mom, my sister, a friend).
I NEVER got approached when I was in a group of 3 or more.
If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense.
It’s risky for a man to approach a man who is surrounded by other people.
Because, if he is rejected by her, it’s like a public embarrassment.
So it is frightening for a man to approach a woman who is not alone, and with a large group of people (anything above 3 is large).
A woman who is alone is much less pressure to handle a man because if he gets rejected, he won’t have to deal with any embarrassment in front of other people.
Button line, you won’t get approached with you are with other people all the time.
But you stand a chance of getting approached if you are ALONE.
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So what you can do is make a list of all the activities that you do in a group and try to do them alone.
Here are examples of activities that you should consider trying:
Go shopping alone,
Have lunch alone,
Sit on a Cafe terrace for a coffee alone ( this is not just a cliche, it works)
Do groceries alone,
Go to the movies alone ( It becomes an incredibly addictive pleasure when you get a taste of it).
Go to museums and art galleries alone. ( there is always a coffee shop there where you can have a convenient break).
2. Always look good and clean
You never know where and when you will meet the right person.
In fact, in my own experience, you tend to meet the right person in the most random ordinary circumstances like doing your groceries.
It’s not just a cliché or these are not just stories that only happen to others.
My own parents met when my mom was sitting on a bench crying over some result exams.
For that reason, it’s very important to always look good and presentable when you leave your house.
I am not saying you must look sexy extra glamorous every day of the week and you should definitely not overdo it.
But you should always aim to be clean and neat and presentable.
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Make sure your hair is always on point (always clean, a nice haircut that suits your face shape, and no end splits).
Make sure your nails are clean and polished.
For that, you may want to consider avoiding colorful, artistic, and too overdone nails because it’s just too hard to maintain but rather opt for a simple classy translucent nail polish for every day.
And lastly, I have a great tip for that that has worked for me for many years and never failed me.
It’s low effort, but it does not look like low effort.
I always have in my wardrobe one or two pairs of blue jeans that fit me really well that I pair with monochromatic tops (I have many colors.) and a nice jacket.
That way I don’t have to think too hard.
You can never go wrong with that.
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3. Be warm and welcoming
Last but not least, a man needs a little encouragement to come to approach you.
That’s when some green lights come handily.
If you receive a signal that a man is interested ( maybe he smiled at you) or maybe was starring at you.
You can smile back at him.
If he asks you for help, be nice and welcoming, it’s his way of gauging your own interest before putting a foot forward.
And finally, when he approaches you, you should be warm and welcoming.
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