Your 20’s are the most defining years of your life.
They mark the end of the transition from teenage hood to adulthood.
You get to decide everything for yourself…where to live, what career to pursue, which friends to have and which relationship to be in.
Many of these choices may seem innocent but they have a huge impact on the trajectory of your life.
This makes your 20’s a critical period of your life.
If you make the wrong choices you may pay them for the rest of your life but if you get the right advice,
you can make the most of your 20’s and prepare yourself for the life of your dream.
Below are 12 advice I wish I had received when I was in my 20’s.
1. Take the time to know who you are
This is the best piece of advice I could give to any 20 something.
I know so many people who are over thirty and are truly miserable because they are not in the right job (90% have unfulfilling careers)
…the right relationship (or not in a relationship at all), or who cannot afford the lifestyle they want (or they are deeply in debt)
… mostly because they did not have anyone to direct them or they followed what parents and other people tell them and they did not take the time to figure out what they really want to do with their life.
I have to say that the pressure from family and the society as a whole to be “ safe” and follow what everyone is doing can be overwhelming.
We are all encouraged to take the “safety” path and try to get a well-paid job, or get married and have a family by a certain age,
and we are constantly comparing ourselves to our friends, sharing our life on social media and secretly competing with them.
If you want to avoid a miserable life or an identity crisis when you get to your 30’s or 40’s,
you will do yourself a huge favor by figuring out what you really want in your life (not what you think you want or what other people tell you that you should want).
Here are 3 things I find the most helpful to get to the bottom of this question:
# Ask yourself the question to begin with
Some people never find out what they really want simply because they never asked themselves the question.
You get to live life once…so you should own it, design it and not let society and other people do it for you.
Every time you enterprise something new.
Take a moment and ask these questions ” is it what I really want?” or “how does this help me get what i want”
# Stop comparing your with others
…in terms of their achievements, careers, money and relationship status.
You are a unique person with you own background and story…
Do you know how unique you are ??? (think about your DNA heritage that goes back some thousands years ago), you have a unique set of skills and way of thinking, you have your own dreams and desires.
You should design a life around things that really matters to you, what make you truly happy and inspires you, not copying what other are doing.
# Trust your intuition
You should always trust your feelings.
For example, if a person or an environment makes you feel uncomfortable,
you probably should avoid it…and find out why you had that feeling so that you learn something about yourself…
If you are happy with your job and would do it for free if it was not a job…then you are probably on the right path.
If on the other hand your job feels like a punishment and you are only doing it because your parents think it’s the best thing to do…its maybe time to question your career choice.
2. Have a vision
Once you figure out what you want in life, start to develop a vision of your future life as if you have already achieved it.
Your vision is a mental picture of the life being the way you want it…
It should inspire you and excite you every day to go after your goals so that you can make it a reality.
Your vision should cover all aspects of your life.
Ask yourself the question “What will my life look like 1 , 5 and 10 years from now”. And be as precise as you can in your answers.
Relationships: the type of relationship you want to have in your life, the way you want to be loved and love your partner. The traits of your dream partner. The family life you want to have…
Career: visualize yourself successful in your career in the corporate world or as a successful entrepreneur If you are more of a free spirit (like me 😀 ). Visualize what success would look and feel like.
Health: visualize how fit and good looking you want yourself to be. See yourself as a strong healthy person.
Money: have a vision of how much money would make you happy and content. And how would you like to be earning money in the future, how financially free would you like to be, would you like to have many streams of income?
Personal development: visualize the skill set you would like to have, (public speaking, speaking different languages, influencing)? Whatever skills you want to acquire.
3. Make a life plan
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity
This powerful quote is one of my favorites.
I do not really believe in luck (or at least I do not rely on it).
I believe in being prepared to seize the opportunity when it knocks on your door.
So my advice to you is to use your 20’s as a preparation phase for whatever you want to do in life, so that you will find yourself ready when opportunities cross your path.
Opportunities cross everyone’s path at some point in their lives, but 90 % of the people do not even notice and are not prepared for it.
It is important to understand that your 20’s are the best years to prepare for your dream life.
The first step of preparing for you success is to have a plan.
If you do not make a plan for your life, your vision will remain a dream and you will let life lead you instead of leading your life.
4. keep your fertility window in mind
If you are a woman who wants to have children and be a mother,
you need to keep in mind your that you have a fertility window outside of which it will be very difficult for you to achieve that.
I decided to make a distinct point of the fertility because I believe that 20 something women are not told enough about this,
so a lot of them do not think about it until it is sometimes too late.
That is why it is important to have a vision about your family life and work towards it.
If you wish to have a family in the future, you need to build meaningful relationships, not waste your time drifting around with the wrong guy, and even when you do so, to limit the wasted time.
5. Choose your circle wisely
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with
– Jim Rohn.
If you are an ambitious person who want to accomplish things life, you need to surround yourself with like-minded people and avoid people who have lower standards than you because they will eventually drag you down with them.
There are also a certain type of people that you need to avoid at all cost.
6. Develop good habits
I see so many people struggling with their weight, money and health because they developed very bad habits over the years.
I myself had a very poor diet and health for years because it was a habit of mine to eat high carbs, high sugar, low fiber food.
So start early in your life having good habits so that you do not leave room for bad habits to take place.
Developing good habits comes down to being disciplined.
If you find things challenging, I would advise to start with small targets and move gradually towards more difficult ones.
# Save money
Make it a habit to save a % of your monthly income without having a reason. The most important is to be consistent and disciplined about it…it will become a second nature in no time.
You might not see the benefits of exercising and being fit when you are 20 something because you can still be in a good shape without much effort,
but as you get older, your metabolism slows down naturally,
so if you keep the bad habits of being lazy, you will start seeing it in the size of the clothes you fit in….so find a physical activity that you enjoy doing.
Not only you will always be in a good shape, but you will be healthier, will have a lot of energy, in a good mood and looking youthful for longer.
You can also add it to your CV: It makes you stand out from the crowd and gives you a great topic to discuss during interviews.
# Eat healthy
Start your healthy lifestyle journey when you are in your 20’s, avoid sugar, high carbs low fiber diets and too much alcohol.
Eat as many fruits and vegetables as you can every day.
7. Use your time wisely and avoid procrastination:
I know that when you are 20 something you have the life before you…
but that does not mean that you can afford wasting your time because you have too much of it.
Time is precious, and the way you use your time can be the difference between success and failure.
We live in a world where distractions are everywhere.
It is made so easy to spend all of your time doing things that do not add any value to your life and leave you with no energy to do what really matters.
For that reason, you need to set your priorities and stop wasting your time.
There will be time for everything,
…but you need to prioritize and find the right balance between spending time with friends, going out and partying and doing something useful for yourself and your future.
Make it a priority to spend time working on yourself.
Try new activities, read books, watch documentaries to become more knowledgeable, join a class and learn a new skill.
8. Explore new hobbies
Use your 20’s to explore new hobbies and discover what you enjoy doing in your spare time.
Having a hobby has many benefits:
- It improves your mood and well being
- You meet new people
- It looks great on your CV
- You can turn your hobby into your side business.
Some Ideas of hobbies: you can try to learn design, calligraphy, play a music instrument, practice yoga.
9. Make the most of your college years
# Focus on your studies
Your studies should be your priority in college.
You should be dedicated to it because there is no better time in your life to focus on studying.
You do not have much to worry about, like a mortgage to pay, having kids and family…etc.
There are exceptions of course to that, and I admire those who are going to college while having other responsibilities.
# Join extra curriculum activities
Joining an extra curriculum activity will benefit you in many ways.
You expend your social circle, you learn practical skills as well as life skills like team work and leadership
You explore new things and discover interests and passions you did not know you had.
# Acquire work experience
The sooner you get hit by “real world” brutality, the better:
- You figure out your strengths and weaknesses
- You get to apply some of the things you learned already
- You earn your own money
- You will appreciate being in college because you know what is waiting for you
# Enjoy yourself, have fun, party
…but not at the expense of your studies.
10. “Work harder on yourself than on your job “ Jim Rohn
When you start a career in the industry of your choice,
your focus should be on acquiring skills along the way because skills are transferable, jobs are not.
Whatever skills you acquire will stay with you forever.
You can also acquire skills by attending seminars and workshops, getting new qualifications and training.
11. Build strong friendships
Although there is no right age to make new friends,
I personally found it hard to build genuine friendships once I left college and entered the workforce.
Why is that?
I think that real friendships take time to develop and nurture
…and people are not willing to put in their time or effort as they get older (or not as enthusiastic about it).
So most of people are mainly looking for friends for pleasure…friend they can have fun with or who are of a certain use for them. They are not looking to connect at a deeper level.
Those people are not friends you turn to when you need it…because they will most likely not be there.
So my advice to you is to build solid friendships in your 20’s.
How to recognize a good friend?
People who want the best for you, want you to be your best
- Good friends are genuinely interested in YOU and not your family or status or material possessions.
- They will celebrate your successes and will support you through tough times.
- You know you can trust them.
- they are always there to help you if they can.
- And you feel good being with them.
Remember that the same will be expected from you.
12. Know when it is time to leave someone who is not right for you
When you are 20 something you might think you have plenty of time
…and that you can afford to be in a relationship with someone you know is not right for you, just because you are bored or do not want to be alone…until you find the right one…
You may not see it as a waste of time because you think you get something from it like having fun, or company …
I really do not judge anyone but you need to overcome you fear of being alone or needing to be with someone at all times.
The issue here is that you do not see the flip side of the coin.
You do not realize that you are actually missing out on other things you could be doing like working on yourself or a business
…putting your energy on your career or closing the door to the right person to come into your life.
Your time is precious, do not waste it on someone who is not right for you.
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Thanks for reading,