A high value woman often operates by rules when it comes to dating, and there are some that a high value woman would never break under any circumstances.
In this blog post, I will list the 10 rules that I believe you should live by if you want to be a high value woman and stand out in the dating game.
1. Never make the first move
Men are very different than women when it comes to dating.
They are biologically wired to hunt…it is in their DNA.
They derive a satisfaction from it that us women cannot understand and will value far more a woman If they have to work for her.
So when a woman makes the first move towards a man, she is stepping into his role as a man and just making the whole thing very easy for him.
He is not going to enjoy it as much and will naturally (and subconsciously) lose interest in her.
A man really enjoys the process of chasing you ( as opposed to us women who get very anxious about it),
wondering if you like him,
if you have someone else in your life,
not knowing much about you, wanting to impress you….
so the last thing you want to do is to make the first move towards him.
If he likes you, he will come to you I can assure you.
There is always a good reason why he does not come to you…because most men, even the shy ones, find a way to make a contact with the woman they chose…
The reason could be that he is already taken, or he just is not attracted to you enough to make a move.
2. Do not reveal your feelings and intentions first
If you have been already on one date, or a few dates…the guy knows that you are interested to a certain degree.
To keep the magic going, you need to stay intriguing by not revealing your intentions (if he asks if you are looking for a serious relationship,
your answer should not be “yes I am looking to get married in the next year”,
rather it should be “ well, it all depends on the person I meet” with a beautiful smile).
Neither are you saying yes, nor are you saying no…do you get me?
Even when the answers are obvious, you should not put words to them very early in the dating process, and certainly not be the first one to do so, because being straight to the point is honestly very boring, masculine, and not attractive.
It can also give him the impression that he is just part of a hidden agenda that you are not even trying to hide.
The key to achieve it is to practice patience…be patient, relax and enjoy the process.
3. Remain a mystery
This point is somehow related to the previous one except that this time I am asking you to remain a mystery not about your feelings but about yourself in general.
To put it very simply, if someone has no interest in you and you refrain from giving him information about you, nothing will happen…because he was never interested in the first place, but if you guys have been dating, you know at this point that he is interested in you.
So if you refrain from telling him too much about you, you will intrigue him and keep him interested for as long as you do so.
He will be excited just at the thought of meeting you and will always look forward to seeing you again…and this is what we want.
It does not mean you should be playing games with him because this will not get you anywhere, what you should do is simply to release information about yourself gradually during the dating process, so that you do not become boring and predictable.
Ultimately everyone is predictable after you have known them for 20 years, but not everyone will give this impression when you meet them…and that’s what makes the difference between people.
4. Do not validate him too much
There is a fine line between being nice to someone and validating him too much.
Surely you can compliment him on something you genuinely think it is worth the compliment…but you should not do it just to be in his good books…I mean it will flatter his ego but will not make him like you more.
You will also come across as easily impressed and he might think he does not need to work for you.
This is particularly true with men who use their wealth or social status to impress women, because their value system is solely based on materialism and social status, so you will score very low on the value scale if you validate them too much because they will think that it does not take much to get you all over them.
5. Take your time, do not get intimate too quickly
This sound so cliché but it is true, so it is worth mentioning.
I am assuming that I am writing to women who want to be perceived a high value woman and are looking for a committed relationship.
When you get intimate quickly, he will get the wrong impression that:
- you do not value yourself
- you are desperate
- you are doing this with any man you meet
So do not get intimate with him quickly…If he really likes you…he will respect that and will value you even more.
Do not listen to the him if he says that you are “old school” or that you are “playing hard to get” , he could be saying it just to get into your pants…men are capable of saying anything ( like really anything ) if it gets them a chance to have sex with you if that’s all they want from you.
Learn how to take your time in general in life, even when you are afraid that it may drive the other person away…if it does, it is just as well.
If he stands the test of time, he really likes you.
6. Do not chase after him if he loses interest
A high value woman does not chase after anyone and you should make it a rule in your life too, because you will only look desperate and low value.
When a guy walks away, he is definitely not interested and he has made up his mind (No…he is not confused, or indecisive…or whatever excuse he comes up with)
…he probably has his own reasons to leave which are valid for him.
so even if you think he is making a mistake or you believe it is such a waste because you guys are perfect for each other,
there is no point trying to talk through it and resonate in the hope of changing his mind,
because men do not think logically about these things, it’s all about the way they feel, so when they walk away, they simply do not feel it.
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7. Date the guy who likes you, not the one you like
That’s just my advice to you ladies. Go for the one who truly likes you, not the one you like.
Waiting for the guy who you like closes the door on the nice guy who really likes you and has the potential to make you happy.
I have seen this many times where women reject someone and wait for prince charming
…only to see that prince charming is not interested in them.
They waste a lot of time in the process and miss opportunities to be happy with someone who would go out of his way for them.
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8. Don’t be needy
A woman cannot be needy and high value at the same time.
So if you are a woman who suffers from the “neediness disease”, you need to fix yourself before you get yourself back in the dating game.
You need to have your own life so that you give him some space and time to miss you and fantasize about you and the relationship.
If you are around all the time, always calling him on the phone, texting him, initiating dates, he will get bored of you very quickly.
People get attached to you when they are away from you…so give him some space.
9. Don’t try to impress him
A high value woman does not need to exert it.
Everything about her tells you that she is high value,
so when you are trying to impress the guy by telling him how many degrees you have, or the kind of job you are in, or how many followers you have on Instagram or whatever it might be that you like about yourself…you are already not very high value.
When you go as far as trying to impress someone, it reveals that you like him and you are too attached to the outcome of this date or relationship, that it matters to you how things go…and this is where he gets the upper hand.
What you need to show instead is a complete detachment from whatever the outcome might be…and not wanting to impress him is a big sign of detachment.
You need to let him discover things about you gradually and by himself.
Believe me It would have far greater impact on him.
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10. Walks away if he does not meet your standards
If you want to be a high value woman, you need to have standards before dating any guy, and be prepared to walk away if the guy does not meet them. It is that simple.
This will save you a lot of energy and wasted time with someone who is not right for you.
Unfortunately, I have seen many times women setting standards but dropping them one by one and finding excuses for the guy as they get attached (I am also guilty of this)…this is not what I call standards. Standards should be above any guy or relationship.
Examples of standards you need to have:
If someone disrespects you or behaves inappropriately, you walk away.
If someone asks you to do something you are not comfortable with, you say No, without worrying what the guy may think of you or your reaction.
If someone says something and does something else, drop him.
A final note
Ladies…dating is a game, a incredibly enjoyable one if you learn how to play it,
…but like every game, for you to stand a chance to win, you need to play by the rules…
so please never make the first move, and do not reveal your feelings first, learn the art of concealing your intentions and remaining a mystery.
Do not validate him too much or try to impress him and do not ever chase after him.
Learn to take your time to get intimate, quality men are not only looking for sex only.
Date only the guys who like you, if you do not like those you attract, reassess yourself and work on yourself in order to attract the ones you want…but you should always attract…not go after
Be ready to walks away, if he does not meet your standards.
and finally, don’t be afraid of getting yourself out there and start dating men even when you are not yet comfortable with all these rules.
In fact, the more you practice them, the better you will get and the more confident you will be.
Your best bet to practice is to try online dating. Start by creating your online profile on sites like Eharmony or Elitesingles and just go on as many dates as you can without expecting anything from them. Remember that repetition is the mother of skills.
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