So you met this guy who you really like and he seems to like you back.
You went on one date or two and you felt you too had connected.
But suddenly, he is starting to take hours if not days to respond to your texts and return your calls.
You can feel he is avoiding you, or worst he has ghosted you.
A man pulling away and taking some distance can trigger one of the worst feelings especially when you have emotionally and mentally invested in him.
So what happened? And what to do when he pulls away to remain high value and maybe pull him back to you and rebuild attraction with him.
Before we get to this, you first need to make sure that he is really pulling away or ghosting you by giving it a day or two.
Sometimes things are not what they seem to be.
Things can happen in men’s lives and they just become unavailable for a few days, but it should not last any longer.
Maybe he lost his phone or the phone run out of battery.
Maybe he is under some pressure at work or a family-related event that happened unexpectedly.
In all these cases, he should be able to contact you after few days and explain the situation to you if he really likes you.
Now, if he does not get in touch after few days, you can safely assume he is pulling away or ghosting you.
So what to do now?
Certainly NOT freak out and leave tons of missed calls and messages to him. That is a big big NO NO.
Even if he liked you at first, he will think you are crazy and this will drive him away in no time. ( and if you are wondering if women still do that…yes they still do, I see tons of posts from guys on forums asking how they can deal with a situation when a woman is almost harassing them calling and texting too many times).
Here is what you should do instead to remain a high value woman when he pulls away:
1. Don’t try to figure out why this is happening
I know the first reaction most of us women have is to try and understand what happened.
We can’t help but speculate on the reasons why he is not answering and we try to reassure ourselves that there must be some logical explanation to all of this other than he is pulling away or ghosting us.
None of this matters and in fact it is a big waste of your time and energy to try and figure out what is going on because there is no way for you or your friends to know exactly.
It really could be anything and it is not always a rational reason, trust me.
The fact is that he withdrew himself regardless of his reasons, and your focus should be on what to do next.
So when he pulls away, don’t spend much time and energy trying to figure out why he removed himself and don’t do anything to try and get him back.
Don’t post on social media just to get his attention.
Don’t get in touch with him to see if he is okay.
Don’t ask him to meet you.
Just don’t do anything of the sort.
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2. Remind yourself that you are a high value woman
If you are new to my blog, you may not know that I write all my blog posts from the perspective of being a high value woman.
I believe all women can be high value if they learn how to avoid neediness and desperation and know their worth.
In the case of a man who’s pulling away, even a high value woman who is quite confident in her status can take a hit to her self-esteem and start feeling really down…and that is okay.
But what is not okay is to give into neediness and give the impression that you are truly desperate for a man.
The key to overcoming that is to remind yourself that you are a high value woman and that you deserve someone who is fully and truly into you and committed to a relationship with you.
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When you shift the focus from who you want to be with to who you deserve to be with, that’s when you start ruling out all the time wasters and ambiguous men who simply are not worth your time.
Yes, I know, you liked him but maybe he is unsure about you or he does not even like you as much as you do, so on to the next one who really likes you and shows up for you.
Remind yourself that you should only allow yourself to be with someone who wants to be with you 100% and nothing less.
If he has any doubts ( we all do at some points), he has every right to take time to think but not knowing that you are quietly and surely waiting for him.
And if he comes back, he will have to prove himself to you because you will not give him the benefit of the doubt twice.
Words of affirmation: I AM A HIGH VALUE WOMAN AND I DESERVE TO BE A MAN’S PRIORITY
3. Rebuild your feminine attraction
Even though you feel like doing nothing and all you can think of is him and being with him,
you still need to focus on rebuilding your feminine attraction by committing yourself to actions that boost your self-esteem and make you feel good about yourself.
That starts from making sure you look your best: put on your best make-up even if you are only going to your local grocery store, do your hair, and put nice colorful clothes on.
Take yourself out for a coffee, a walk in the park, shopping, or lunch where you can cross other men’s paths and see them noticing you.
4. Go on other dates
It may sound counter-intuitive to react to a guy pulling away by going on other dates but you will see that it makes a lot of sense.
In order for you to remain high value when he pulls away, you need to FEEL your value.
And one way to feel your value is to go on dates because you will feel desired by other men you will soon realize that you have plenty of options and that this particular man is just one of them.
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5. If you want to get in touch, do this
Obviously, the best thing to do is to not get in touch with him until he does.
But sometimes you just want to know what is going on perhaps so that you can move on completely.
So if you have not heard from him for at least 4-5 days, you are allowed to send one single text message ( no calls or showing up at his office).
His response or absence of response to this text message will tell you everything you need to know about the situation.
A Man’s silence of hesitation is a signal, take it as it is.
Here is an example of a simple text message that will still show you as a high value woman even though you are the one who is approaching:
“Hi, just wondering if you are okay as I have not heard from you for a few days, hope you are fine”
by sending this, you are reaching out in a manner that shows that you were not too worried that he disappeared, that you just hope he is okay but you are not necessarily waiting for a response because you are concluding with “hope you are fine”.
If he does not respond to this text message, you can safely assume that he is ghosting you and you can just delete his number and move on.
If he responds but his answer does not sound like an apology and does not leave the door open to further message exchanges, then it is your turn not to answer and leave it there.
And,
When you are ready, If you want to step up your dating and relationship game, if you want to learn how to become a high value woman that men adore, check out this self help program.
This program will help you understand the complex dynamics of romantic relationships and show you how to transform yourself in order to become high value.
It will take you deep into a man’s mind and psychology and will demystify what men really want and need in a woman.
You will be better equipped after the program to create the loving and secure relationship of your dreams. Check it out here.
Also, grab your FREE “Attraction triggers in a man” guide.
Thanks for reading this post,