So you met this guy who you really like and he seems to return the favor. You have been on one date or two and now suddenly he takes hours or even days to respond to your texts, he does not return your calls, he is avoiding to make plans with you or worst he is ghosting you.
You are probably in great pain and no one can blame you for it. It is one of the worst feelings to experience when a man pulls away when you are emotionally and mentally invested in him.
So what happened? And what to do in this situation to remain high value and maybe get him back where you guys left it.
Before we get to this, you first need to make sure that he is really pulling away or ghosting you by giving it a day or two.
Things can happen in men’s lives and they simply are unavailable for a few days, but it should not last any longer. He could have lost his phone or phone run out of battery. He could be under some pressure at work or a family related event happened unexpectedly.
In all these cases, he should be able to contact you after few days and explain the situation to you if he really likes you.
Now, if he does not get in touch after few days, you can safely assume he is pulling away or ghosting you.
So what to do now?
Certainly NOT freak out and leave tones of missed calls and messages to him. That is a big big NO NO. Even if he liked you at first, he will think you are crazy and this will drive him away in no time. ( and if you are wondering if women still do that…yes they still do, I see tones of posts from guys on forums asking how they can deal with a situation when a woman is almost harassing them by calling and texting too many times).
Here is what you should do instead to remain a high value woman when he pulls away:
1. Don’t try to figure out why this is happening
I know the first reaction most of us women have is to try and understand what happened. We speculate on the reasons why he is not answering and we try to reassure ourselves that there must be a logical explanation to all of this other than he is pulling away or ghosting us.
None of this matters and it fact it is a huge waste of time and energy to try and figure him out because there is no way for you or your friends to know what exactly is going on in this man’s mind. It really could be anything and it is not always rational trust me. The fact is that he withdrew himself regardless of his reasons and the focus should be on what to do next.
2. Remind yourself that you are a high value woman
If you are new to my blog, you may not know that I write all my blog posts from the perspective of becoming a high value woman. I believe all women can be high value if they learn how to not act with neediness and desperation.
In the case of a man is pulling away, even a high value woman who is quite confident in her status can take a hit to her self-esteem and start feeling really down…and that is okay. But what is not okay is to give into neediness and give the impression that you are desperate.
The key to overcome that is to remind yourself that you are a high value woman and that you deserve someone who he is fully and truly into you and committed to a relationship with you. When you shift the focus from who you want to be with to who you deserve to be with, that’s when you start ruling out all the time wasters and ambiguous guys who simply are not worth your time.
Yes I know you liked him but he does not like you back, so on to the next one who Likes you.
Remind yourself that you only allow yourself to be with someone who wants to be with you 100% and nothing less. If he has any doubts ( which we all do at some points, he has the right to take time to think but not knowing that you are quieting and surely waiting for him. And if he comes back, he will have to prove himself to you because you will not give him the benefit of the doubt twice.
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3. Rebuild your feminine attraction
Even though you feel like doing nothing and all you can do is think about him, you need to focus on rebuilding your feminine attraction by committing yourself to doing actions that boost your self esteem and make you feel good about yourself.
That starts from making sure you look your best : put on your best make up, do your hair and put nice colorful clothes on.
Take yourself out for a coffee, a walk in the park, shopping, or lunch where you can cross other men’s path and and see them noticing you.
4. Go on other dates.
It may sound counter intuitive to react to a guy pulling away by going on others dates but you will see that it makes a lot of sense.
In order for you to remain high value when he pulls away, you need to feel your value. And one way to feel your value is to go on dates because you will feel desired by other men you will soon realize that you have plenty of options and that this guy is just one of them.
5. If you want to get in touch, do this
Obviously, the best thing to do is to not get in touch with him until he does. but sometimes you just want to know what is going on perhaps so that you can move on completely. so if you have not heard from him for at least 4-5 days, you are allowed to send one single text message ( no calls or showing up at his office).
His response or absence of response to this text message will tell you everything you need to know about the situation.
Here is an example of a simple text message that will still show you as a high value woman even though you are the one approaching:
“Hi, just wondering if you are okay as I have not heard from you for a few days, hope you are fine”
by sending this, you are reaching out in a manner that shows that you were not too worried that he disappeared, that you just hope he is okay but you are not necessarily waiting for a response because you are concluding with “hope you are fine”.
If he does not respond to this text message, it is clear that he is ghosting you and you can just delete his number and move on.
If he responds but his answer does not sound like an apology and does not leave the door open to further messages exchanges, then it is your turn not to answer and leave it there.
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