What is a high value woman? What are the traits of a high value woman? How can you become a high value woman? In this blog post, I am going to dissect the high value woman myth and give you the 8 top high value woman traits.
How men view a high value woman
Being a woman who has a natural inclination towards having male friends, I spend a lot of time around men, observing the way they look at women in general and at these so called high value women in particular.
I came to notice over the years that there was always a mix of admiration, desire and intimidation in their eyes when they come across a high value woman.
High value women are attractive beyond their looks. There is just something about them, that one cannot point out with a finger but it is very real.
It always intrigued me and I wanted to understand what exactly make them crazy about these women.
After years of observations, What I realized baffled me. I understood that what men really lust after is women who fulfill their fantasies…and it just happens that high value woman fulfill most of men fantasies.
Those fantasies vary depending on what men are looking for…so when they are looking for the ONE they want to marry, they secretly have this fantasy of feeling a sense of achievement and victory ( I am not joking), that they have earned the right to part of that woman’s life and that she chose them among so many other because they were the best.
– And that is what James Bauer calls the “hero instinct” in his famous self-help guide to a man’s heart “His secret obsession“, a man can only fall deeply in love if he feels he is the hero in a woman’s life –
The thing with a high value woman is that she naturally fulfill this fantasy with her sense of self-worth ( because people – and men in particular – don’t value women who don’t value themselves first) , her confidence and femininity.
So what do I mean by a high value woman?
Let’s get this straight, people are not born high or low value…so it’s not something these women are born with.
If you are reading this blog post, you probably are a woman who wants to become high value. …This blog post will show you that it’s just a matter of a shift in your mindset and the rest will follow.
All you need to do is to understand what it means to be a high value woman, and do what it requires persistently.
It’s very simple but not easy work.
Without further due, here are the top 8 traits that will make you a high value woman
1. Have a strong self-esteem from the inside
A high value woman radiates confidence and self-esteem.
People get drawn to her by an invisible force that comes from the inside.
She does not derive her sense of self from external things like her social, her relationship status or her success, but rather from how she feels about herself inside and the value she bring to herself and the people around her.
For example, she can lose her job in a top tier company but still be a good friend, a good daughter and feel great about herself…the job is an external thing that she never relied on to define who she is as a person.
A high value woman is well aware of her worth and does not seek validation from anyone but herself.
She welcomes criticism as it does not hurt her feelings but rather gives her an opportunity to grow and improve.
So my number one advice for you to begin your transformation into a high value woman is to work on your self-esteem from the inside.
Here are 6 things you can do to boost your self-esteem:
- Know your worth: The first thing to start from is be clear on your worth, most of people do not give themselves enough credit for who they are and what they have accomplished. When you do not know your worth, you are always selling yourself at a discount, and guess what? It only attracts discount hunters, so know your worth and attract the person you deserve.
- Ignore people who undermine you, have the courage to get rid of them, because you really do not need them in your life. You need to realize that they are a real obstacle on your quest for a better self-esteem…so get rid of them
- Celebrate even the small wins. Learn how to praise yourself.
- Take care of yourself …you deserve it just for the person you are. Take care of your health, your well being and your appearance.
- Stop the negative self-talk and self-criticism, One of the worst habits that seriously damages your self-esteem is negative self-talk. You can assess your actions and your results but you should separate your identity as a person from the things you did wrong. These things do not define who you are, because you can always work on them and change for the better. Practice positive affirmations whenever you say to yourself that you are not worthy or not enough.
- Practice gratitude every day, remind yourself how lucky you are to be alive and of all the good things in your life and the great people you have around you.
Strong self-esteem can only come from within.
if you are interested in the topic of self esteem, check out my more in depth post on how to improve your self esteem.
2. Love yourself
You can only be a high value woman if you overflow yourself with love.
So many women have no idea that they suffer from a love deficiency…not realizing that it is the source of a lot of their trouble.
They are constantly looking for love on other people’s eyes when the answer lies within themselves.
Loving one-self in a healthy way is not selfish but necessary.
So how do you love yourself?
- Put yourself first at all times and treat yourself with care and kindness.
- Make your health and well being a priority and look after your body and appearance, because if you feel good about yourself, people will feel good around you. (Eat healthy, exercise, study your body shape and choose the outfit that shows you at your best , take care of your skin and your hair…you can check out how I lost 10 kg after I did not take care of myself for years).
- Accept yourself with your successes and your failures and learn how to forgive yourself for past mistakes.
- Have compassion for your own feelings before anyone else’s. (If you feel sad because someone walked away from you, you should feel sad for the pain you feel and how to not go through it again, not how you can get him back).
People will treat you the way you treat yourself, so if you treat yourself well, people have no other choice but to do the same, because they will be out of your life otherwise.
Here is a good read on self-love by Louise Hay ” Love Yourself, Heal Your Life Workbook “ where she shares practical techniques of self-love and positive thinking that apply to many areas of life.
3. Have a life
A high value woman is not waiting for a man to have a life….In fact she is not waiting for him for anything really ( but she does not tell him).
She has her own ambitions and dreams and is working on them, she is always busy doing something, or spending time with friends and family, or just time on her own taking care of herself.
Men do not value women who are always free…because it indicates that they are not doing much of their lives.
You do not have to have plans to take over the world in order to be a busy woman, the important thing is to not have all your attention on your man.
Do not fake it as it is not a long term solution…do the inner work…know yourself and what passionates you and go create a life for yourself.
4. Do not settle for less than what you deserve
A high value woman has standards and she sticks to them ( you might be interested to read my top 10 rules that high value women never violate).
Having standards and going by them is essential for your self-esteem because you are really putting yourself first when you set standards.
It is in human nature to take advantage of people who can accept anything, and men are no exception.
A high value woman already knows what she wants and she is ready to walk away if she does not get it.
Her standards are more important than any man or relationship.
She is willing to compromise for the relationship, but not on her standards.
The reason so many women either do not have standards or drop them very quickly as soon as they find someone is simply because they do not love themselves enough.
They are so in need of the man’s love that they are willing to accept anything in order to get it.
So the key to stick to your standards and find someone who truly meets your criteria is to love yourself first.
In practice, you should set your standards before entering any relationship and let them be known early.
Be ready to walk away if standards are not met (I mean really ready to walk away, not just warning to walk away but staying there….you will just lose all credibility).
You should really only let in your life people who respect you and your standards.
And do not make the mistake of trying to change your man to meet your standards.
You will only get frustration and bitterness out of it because no one changes unless they really want to, you will save yourself and him a lot of time and energy.
5. Do not look for a guy to complete you
A high value woman does not need a man to complete her whether she is in a relationship or single.
She is complete by herself and is looking for a partner to complement her.
That is why she is not in a rush or desperately looking for someone, because she does not fear to be alone.
She enjoys being single as she finds it ideal to connect with herself, reflect on her mistakes and experience new things…. And she becomes even more attractive to men in the process.
Now, when a high value woman gets in a relationship with a man who complements her.
She makes him feel needed ( that is not to say she needs him and she would not survive without him, but she knows that one way to express her love to him is to make him feel needed and useful).
At the end of the day, men are really not attracted to really desperate women who need a man to save them from this “cruel” world but at the same time they won’t stay in a relationship where they do not feel needed and wanted.
6. Be feminine
To be a high value woman, you need to be feminine when you are with your man.
and note I am saying “When you are with your man”.
That is because each one of us has some feminine and masculine, so you do not need to suppress all your masculine side.
In fact you need it in order to survive in a increasingly competitive world, but in your relationship, you need to learn how to switch to your feminine side.
In a relationship, a masculine man is looking for his opposite which is a feminine woman.
He wants a soft, caring and nurturing woman, to lose himself with a woman and to protect her because it makes him feel like a man.
When you surrender to your feminine side, you become naturally irresistible to men, and that’s a key characteristic of a high value woman.
Here is an excellent book on femininity if you want to learn about how to be femininely beautiful “The Lost Art of True Beauty: The Set-Apart Girl’s Guide to Feminine Grace” by Leslie Ludy
7. Be okay if he walk away
A key trait of high value woman is that she never chases a man if he walks away from her, and this rule does not only apply to men, but to anyone in her life.
If someone walks away from you…no matter what he says “he needs some time” or “he is not sure about your relationship” or “it is not you, you are great, the problem is with him, he is not good enough for you” and the list goes on and one…do not chase after him.
Learn how to not listen to what men say, many of them do not have the courage to be honest and tell you how they really feel about you.
The simple truth is he is just not interested enough to be with you, or he already knows you are not the one, or he thinks you are not good enough for him.
So a high value woman understands immediately what the guy really means and just moves on.
She knows that she is not meant to be liked by everyone and that she will come across men who might not really like her after all and she is okay with it.
8. Care for others
A high value woman is a high value human being in general.
She is a decent person who cares for other and treats them like she treats herself.
She is kind and generous with her time and energy.
She shows empathy towards people around her, and offers her help when she can.
Naturally she will care for her man, and will expect the same from him.
So learn how to be more empathetic towards others. There is nothing uglier than a selfish self-centered woman.
A final note
If you want to be high value women, you will need to start from your self-esteem and love for yourself.
It’s only after you get this right that you will be able to develop the other traits of the high value woman.
Besides having a rock solid self-esteem, a high value woman has a life she is madly in love with.
That is how she does not settle for less than what she deserve, because she already has an awesome life. She does not look for a man to complete her, and she is ready to walk away if he does not meet her standards.
That does not mean she is a powerful masculine woman, quiet the contrary, she is a powerful feminine woman.
If you are already dating someone and want to become his one and only, check out my review of the relationship guide His secret obsession, that teaches how to become a man’s focus and passion in life.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post.
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If you want 1 to 1 coaching with me, find me on the Instantgo app, my user name is manalitta88