I am not a big fan of making the first move and I feel I share that with a lot of other women.
Partly because when I was “empowered” and I decided to make the first move on a guy, it turned out he was not interested in me 9 times out of 10.
And the remaining 1 time it was because he just wanted to give it a try, to see what it was like, which does not sound like he was very much into me…right?
So I feel making the first move for a woman is not worth it because it does undermine our self-esteem a bit more than men.
That said, when you know (or at least you think) this guy likes you but you are waiting for him to make the first move, it can be very frustrating and can feel very dis-empowering.
So what can you do? Does that mean our only option is to wait for a man to make the first move?
In fact not at all, (I hate waiting in general so I would not give this advice to anyone).
A study by Dr. John Gottman et al.in The Man’s Guide to Women which I came across thanks to verilymag.com , reveals that “Whether or not men are interested in a woman is not strongly related to her objective attractiveness but instead to the nonverbal signals she sends out.
In fact, when scoring women’s nonverbal behaviors, researchers were able to predict a man’s approach to her with 90 percent accuracy.”
In their post, verilymag.com say that:
I would not call non-verbal cues first moves, but that is just me.
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They are signals to discern any potential interest from a man, which to me is very different from making an actual move.
And yes I totally agree…
Women have been sending signals all around since humankind is on earth and their intention is to let the man know that he is welcome to make the first move and that he won’t be rejected.
Now let’s talk about these signals of which there are 4
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…If he is a random guy you met at a pub or cafe
#1 Eye contact
Eye contact is probably the most powerful nonverbal cue a woman can send to a man. looking at someone says that they did not leave you indifferent and that you notice them.
I would say though that the right way to make eye contact Is to be subtle and not turn it into a staring session.
You can do something like this:
You’ve heard the saying, A smile is worth a thousand words. And it holds strong for love relationships.
It is the second strangest nonverbal cue that you can send a guy you like.
Again be subtle about it and put on your cutest most elegant smile
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#3 Look away and glance back
Something like this
#4 Ask for help
If you happen to be in a place where you can ask for him with anything, like a shop or supermarket or even a Starbucks, by all means, do it.
You can ask him to reach a product that’s too high for you to reach, or to read something you can’t understand ( when you are in a foreign country).
The key point here is to stay focused on the task and say thank you at the end. If he is interested he will do the rest.
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Thanks for reading this post,