When it comes to marriage and committed relationships, it is often not just about love, chemistry and feelings
I wish it was but I believe it is NOT.
So in this blog post, I will share with you my views on the subject,
and will discuss some of the challenges that women face when dating for marriage outside of their socio-economic class, ethnicity and culture.
Your socio-economic class matters
First, let’s define what a socio-economic class is
Socio-economic class definition has evolved over the year to encompass a lot of things in today’s society:
- The occupation or the kind of job that you have,
- You education level,
- You wealth,
- Your family background including their social status and their wealth.
and because these things are not constant, a person socio-economic class is something that can changes throughout a life time,
for example, you could have a low class type of background, but still moving to a higher class as a result of your education and the type of occupation you have.
Although I believe that these things matter to a lesser extend to men than to women…
I do think that men are conscious of them,particularly men who belong to middle/upper-middle class families for many generations.
I noticed that these men tend to marry within their socio-economic class,and I believe it is because they are more concerned about holding on to their status and marrying someone from their circle gives them some guarantees to perpetuate their socio-economic class for the generations to come.
…whereas men from a higher class tend to be more open when it comes to choosing their partner because the woman’s socio-economic background would have almost no incidence on the future generation socio-economic class…
so these men tend to look for what they really want in a woman, irrespective of her socio-economic background…as long as she has a certain level of education and share the same value system as them.
Even men who are not looking at the socio-economic background per se, are likely to choose their partner based on things that are interconnected with the socio-economic background such as:
your value system,
your views on different matters and life in general ,
the way you carry yourself in the society,
and the way you handle things…etc.
So my advice would be not to fool yourself and believe that only feelings and chemistry will matter when it comes to choosing a life partner,
especially when dating men with a middle/upper-middle class type of background,
because you are likely to be judged by where you are coming from and may not be considered for a potential marriage or committed relationship,
and these men will not tell you that when they start dating you,
but sometimes they know from day one they will not consider marrying you,
which is why I recommend avoiding these kinds of men and trying to date people who you know are open-minded and genuine and see you beyond the socio-economic condition, your ethnicity or your culture.
How do you know if the person is open-minded and genuine?
the answer is : by observing their actions
How do they talk about people from different social backgrounds?
Do they tend to choose friends based on common interest or based on social circles?
Are they comfortable with nice people but from a lower class?
Are they open to make new friends from different types of backgrounds?
Are they open to introduce you to their family or meet yours and your friends?
You might never be considered for marriage, if you are from a different ethnicity or/and culture
Having myself a mixed ethnicity and culture, I came to this realization that some (maybe a lot of men) men have hard rules not to marry into certain ethnicities and cultures…
and I am not talking about men’s physical preferences based on the woman’s ethnicity,
it is in fact natural to have physical preferences and I do not think it is racism…
but I am talking about men who actually like the way you look but would not marry you just because you are from an ethnicity that is perceived as lower…its very sad but I think it is still very real.
Mentalities have certainly evolved with the world’s globalization and we humans have made some progress on the matter…
having said that, I have seen so many of my female friends being very confused about a guy who would be so into them, so they felt they have a special connection with the guy…and when the girl wanted to take it to the next level, the guy’s reaction was to pull away and to come up with excuses (typically saying that he was not ready, or that he did not know what he really wanted and so on).
but the truth was that he simply had a hard rule in his mind that this girl was never going to be more than a temporary relationship.
So again, if you find yourself in such a scenario and see signs of indecisiveness, I would recommend to move on immediately because he is just a waste of your precious time.
In any case, you always need to be conscious of how is your ethnicity and culture is perceived wherever you live in the world, and just stay away from people who are too judgmental with regards to these things.
It is their loss not yours.
You could be the favorite target for men who want to experiment
I know this for a fact because most of my friends are men and I hang out with a lot of them and listen to their stories …and I have seen it happening many times.
When it comes to women, Men like to experiment, and that includes different shapes, colors and ethnicities.
So if you are “different” , a lot of men would specifically want to date you because they want to see what it is like to be with someone from your ethnicity or culture…with no intention whatsoever to build anything with you…
and you will fairly quickly realize it because they will be gone as soon as they have what they were there for in the first place.
So if you are a young woman with a different ethnicity than the predominant one in your country or you happen to live in foreign country altogether, be prepared that you will be the target of such men.
check out my blog post on the rules that high value women never violate in dating
If you follow these rules, you will filter out these types of men.
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