A high value woman by definition has high standards in dating,

but what do we mean by high standards?

Is there a list of female dating standards? And how can a high value woman get away with high standards yet have a trail of men behind her begging her to pick them?

This is what this post is about.

A high value woman does not enter the dating scene before knowing exactly what her standards and boundaries are.

She knows from experience or from a mentor, that having standards as a woman and sticking to them is necessary for dating and relationships.

She expects that most men’s advances are not worth her time, because a large number of men available on the marketplace at a point in time are looking for a casual h*** and so she is looking to filter them out by having high standards.

The high value woman is not an entitled B*** or a gold digger, as she is often accused to be by low value fellow women.

She just knows she has options because she has worked on her sense of self-worth and her confidence and does not have to settle for less than what she wants.

She communicates her high standards and makes them known from the get-go and is always ready to explore other options if her dating standards are not met.

In other words, she knows she is a catch and would only consider being with someone who recognized her as such.


1. She is clear on what she is looking for in a man and does not compromise on her “must-have”.

All women have a must-have and a nice-to-have list of attributes or qualities that they are looking for in a man. The difference between a high value woman and the rest is in the fact that she does not compromise on the “must-have”.

When she writes down her “must-have”, she really means it and she puts in her head that she will walk away the moment she realized that one of her “must-have” boxes is not ticked.

It is a nonnegotiable for her.

The high-value woman is ruthless in evaluating men, and trust me it does not come at no expense to her.

It takes tremendous discipline and to be harsh on herself in order to be able to cut people off that she likes…but that’s the high value woman standards.


Here is a shortlist of high value woman “Must have”

  • Truly loving and caring, she has no time to waste with a cold, selfish, self-centered man. he can be all these things outside of the relationship…but he can only be nice, caring, and loving in the relationship
  • A man who does not have the instinct to protect her does not deserve her.
  • Financially stable. Although the high value woman has not been sitting around waiting for a man to come to take care of her, as she has her own career, her own money and she is independent. And that is the very reason she expects her partner to be at the same level at the very least. He has to have his life together and has to display his ability to take care and provide for him even if she does not need it. She does not expect to meet a millionaire in his 20’s because she would be a gold digger otherwise, but she expects him to be in a similar financial situation or to be financially stable at the very least. A man who is not financially stable should not be trying to date a high value woman. Period.
  • Treats her with respect.
  • Is consistent in his behavior. She has to know that she can rely on him and that he will be there and show up consistently for her in good and bad times.
  • Ambitious and successful. A high value woman demands the best from herself first and so she expects people in her life to do the same.
  • Generous (financially and with his attention). A high value woman will not waste her time with someone who does not give her attention, because there are many others who would be happy to court her properly just to be in her company.
  • She must be somewhat attracted to him physically. It does not mean he has to be a supermodel neither should she. but there has to be attraction going on between them.
  • They must have compatible personalities because she knows that having incompatible personalities in a couple can backfire badly in the future.

Here is a shortlist of high value woman “Nice to have”

  • Having specific physical attributes: We all have preferences when it comes to men. We like certain heights, certain skin, or hair colors. The high value woman also has her preferences but would not disqualify anyone for something which was outside of his control.
  • Having a specific type of background. Although someone’s background can tell a lot about the person, a high value woman does not have superficial criteria.
  • Having a specific profession (Some women may prefer a doctor or a professor at the university or whatever but all these preferences are nice to have not a must).
  • Being cultured, it’s a nice-to-have because there are a lot of people out there who are not necessarily book smart but are very high value…you can learn later on.
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2. She has deal-breakers that she religiously follows when she encounters them.

Although the list of deal breakers may vary from one person to another, the high value woman will rule out any man with the following attributes:

  • A low effort man
  • Shows signs of BS: inconsistencies, lies, cancel plans last minute, sends ambiguous messages
  • Disrespectful
  • Unmannered, poor behavior
  • Lacks ambition
  • Has unorthodox sexual demands
  • Demands sex too early ( F*** boys, guys only interested in sex)
  • Violent, aggressive
  • Entitled, men who think they are entitled to women because of the existing and being amazing

3. A man has to add to her life happiness, emotional support, and financial stability.

Someone who detracts from her life has nothing to do with it.

4. Only goes on date with men who properly ask her.

When a guy asks her casually for a coffee or something knowing that he is actually interested in her but just does not want to properly ask her on a date,

she either refuses or accepts but she makes it clear that she does not consider it a date either.

5. Does not do Netflix and chill dates.

She learns that men only value what they had to work hard for, and so she refuses to offer her company with such low effort dates like watching Netflix and eating pizzas at home.

6. A coffee date is not a date.

So when a man asks her on a coffee date, she either refuses straight away or accepts to see what the guy is all about but in her mind, this is not a date.

This is what I heard from many high value women.

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7. He has to prove himself first before she invests in him.

Which means he has to pursue her, chase her, take her on amazing dates, and initiate calls and texts.

If he is not chasing her or is very low effort, he is not that into her and she does not go on dates with people who are not 100% into her.


8. She does not go out of her way to date a man.

Not because she is a gold digger or wants to take advantage of the guy but because she wants to know how much that guy values her.

She understands that in life, a lot of people use money as a way of measuring value and so your value to them is measured by the dollar amount they are ready to invest in you.

It took me a very long time and someone taking advantage of me to understand that.

Neither does she meet him halfway or close to his office to make it easier for him or jump in airplanes and cross half the planet to see his pretty face.

I know a guy who once took an 8 hours train one way just to have sex with his female friend with benefits. Guys can move mountains when they really want you or want something from you.

9. If she is not made exclusive after a few weeks, she moves on.

She does not do the “let’s hang out and see where this goes” BS.

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10. She does not give wifey privileges to a boyfriend.

(Unless there are special circumstances where they cannot get married).

She does not do the cook and clean thing or offers sex on demand.

…I am sure you heard a story of some guy leaving his long-term girlfriend who has done all these wifey things for some other girl that he likes more.

Unless she sees a ring on her finger, she does not do wifey things.


11. Does not give on to her man pressurizing her into doing something.

She won’t give sex if she does not want to and she won’t do things that make her uncomfortable even if her boyfriend says he cannot live with it.

12. She does not wait around for years for her boyfriend to be “ready” and pop the question.

And by that I mean, she gives him max of 1,5 years unless there are some special circumstances that are outside of their control that prevent them from getting married.

She won’t give him “as long as he needs” to make up his mind because it just means he is just waiting to meet his dream girl and will leave her soon after that.

A high value woman’s time is the most precious thing she has and she does not give it away for free.

Read my post of when he says he is “Not ready” for a relationship.

13. She does not buy into someone’s “potential”.

Because she is sick of giving people chances and the benefit of the doubt only to be fooled.

She wants it here and now and will not buy into someone’s “potential”.

She won’t help someone to build himself up only to be left soon after the potential has manifested in reality ( It happened to me, my ex left me as soon as he finished a 3-year qualification that I helped him pass and sacrificed many holidays and weekends for while he was studying to pass his exam…

Now someone else will benefit from the huge pay rise my ex got from him passing this qualification and I “sacrificed” all this time for nothing).

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14. Contrary to most dating advice out there for women, the high value woman who is seeking marriage is actually not afraid to say it early on and has full confidence in what she wants.

She knows that if she scares a guy with her projects, it means he was simply not for her and moves on.

A small caveat is that the high value woman does not say she wants to marry him, she says she wants to get married,

which suggest that she is getting married either with him or with someone else,

and suggests that someone else is probably a better more successful man as she is ready to leave the guy for him.

If she is an amazing woman, her man should fear missing and before he knows it, he is already thinking of the ring and wedding venue.


If you want to learn how to step up your dating and relationship game, if you want to learn how to become a high value feminine woman and attract high quality men, check out this self help program.

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It will take you deep into a man’s mind and psychology and will demystify what men really want and need for you.

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Thanks for reading this post,

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