Everything was going fine until he started to pull away and now your mind is racing with questions to which you have no answers. Why is he pulling away? Did he lose interest? Did he meet someone new? Did you do something to push him away? Is he no longer in love? A man pulling away can trigger a lot of anxiety and fear in us women because we don’t know what to think and what to do. Worst, it can cause us to make mistakes in the way we handle the situation and losing him for good.
If this is what you are going through, you’ve come to the right place, because I am going to tell you from my own experience the 5 most likely reasons he pulled away and how you should react to each one of them.
I have dealt with men pulling away many times in my life unfortunately, and I sadly did a lot of the things that I am going to ask you not to do, because I know the consequences of making these mistakes.
I will be honest with you, most of the reasons men pull away are not good news. I know there are other blogs out there which tell you a different story but you will only find tough love in my blog.
Life in its complexity comes down to very simple equations. Ultimately, someone who pulls away is someone who has shifted his priorities at that point in time and has put you down the bottom of the list, but we will discuss in details why this happens and what you can do about it.
So let’s dive into it shall we?
1. He is not that into you
This is probably the most obvious reason why a man is pulling away yet it is the hardest one to admit for most women. A lot of women don’t realise it but they are often dating and engaging with men who are not that into them.
They have the impression that everything is going great until eventually these men pull away for various reasons leaving these women in a state of panic and confusion. That’s is when these women make the deadly mistake of chasing them, pushing them even further and killing the slimmest attraction these men had for them.
What women need to understand is that men will not friend zone you if they are not that into you, they will engage with you and behave like they are 100 % in until a better option comes along or they are no longer enjoying the interaction.
The worst thing you can do for your own sake and your self-esteem is to chase this type of men. There is probably a good reason he was not that into you in the first place, a reason that you may have no control over. So it is only for the better that you let him go and save yourself for someone who is genuinely interested in you.
2. He needs space
If you are in a loving relationship and he suddenly pulls away and disappears or is present with is colder, Don’t panic. This might be just his instinct dictating his behavior and it does not mean he does not love you or care for you.
Men were not biologically built to be very close to a woman at all times. Because when they do, their testosterone levels go down and they have a biologically urge to get them back up. In other words, men need to stay away from women to recharge their batteries in order for them to come back stronger.
It is only by feeling strong again that men can feel capable of giving the love and protection that their partner deserve. In this case, the best advice I can give you is to not try to fight this instinct but to embrace it as part of men’s nature.
If you do try to fight it, any man who claims his manhood will feel trapped like in a prison and will do anything to escape the relationship. A woman who understands this basic need has one of the greatest secrets for long-lasting relationships.
3. He was into you until you started being needy
He may have liked you at first when he met you but as he spent more time with you and got to know you more, he got overwhelmed with your neediness and started suffocating under your dependency on him and his validation and that’s when he started to pull away. Have you been needy with him? Do you have needy tendencies? If you say yes to some of these behaviors, then yes you are:
- You want to be with him all the time
- You desperately want to please him
- You are always available for him
- You want to be part of all his plans
- You ask him to put you before all his friends.
- When he is away, you demand to call you and text you all the time.
- You suspiciously agree with everything he says just because you are afraid to upset him
- You go to his place uninvited and you want to move in together quickly so that you can spend more time together.
- You said you loved him too quickly
If this is you, you need to learn how to be self-regulated, self-sufficient and self-reliant for your emotional needs before you consider dating a man if you want to find love and have a happy life. Learn more on self-esteem here.
4. He met someone new
A Man pulling away can also be the result of meeting a new person in his life. It could be a new colleague or someone he met at a party or even an ex coming back into his life. Whatever the circumstances, if he is interested in another person, he will be less present, his calls and text will be less frequent and he will pay less attention to you.
How can you tell? It is not always easy to spot because some men are very good at concealing the signs but you can definitely watch out for these things:
- A sudden change in his self care routine and appearance
- A new female friend/colleague who he insists is in a relationship
- A more than usually work related busyness
- Not noticing your new haircut or makeup
- Change of habits
These signs along with pulling away can indicate that he met someone new and it is only a matter of time until he leave you for the new person if he has the opportunity to do it.
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5. He has issues to deal with
This one is counter intuitive to women because women deal with their problems very differently to men. When a woman has an issue, all she wants to do is talk about it. She needs to share her concerns with her entourage and she will often ask for support and help.
When a man has a problem, he does quite the opposite of that. He often wants to be alone and hide in his man cave. He needs peace and quiet to try to work his issues out.
In this scenario the best thing you can do is to wait for him to get out of his man cave when he is ready by himself and then try to engage with him. You can offer him help and support but never force him to talk about his issues. The more you insist on him opening up to you the more resistant he will be to your help.
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