Is the man you are dating or even in a relationship with pulling aware? and is your mind racing with questions to which you have no answers right now?
Questions like: Why is he pulling away? Did he lose interest? Did he meet someone new? Did you do something to push him away? Is he no longer in love?
A man pulling away can trigger a lot of anxiety in us women because it speaks to our insecurities and triggers one of the most primal fears we have: abandonment.
What we are really thinking when a man pulls away is “Are we lovable to a man” and “Are we good enough to be with a man“.
This can cause us to make stupid moves and mistakes in the way we handle the situation and can lead to losing him for good.
If this is what you are going through right now, you’ve come to the right place, because I am going to tell you from my own experience the 5 most likely reasons he has pulled away and how you should react to each one of them.
I have dealt with men pulling away many times in my life, unfortunately, and I did a lot of the things that I am going to ask you NOT to do because I know where it is leading you, which is nowhere good for you.
I will be honest with you, most of the reasons men pull away are not good news. I know there are other blogs out there that tell you a different story but you will only find the truth on my blog.
Life, in its complexity, comes down to very simple equations.
Ultimately, someone who pulls away is someone who has shifted his priorities at that point in time and has put you down at the bottom of the list, but we will discuss in detail why this happens and what you can do about it.
So let’s dive into it, shall we?
1. He is not that into you
This is probably the most obvious reason why a man is pulling away yet it is the hardest one to admit for most women.
A lot of women don’t realize it but they are often dating and engaging with men who are not that into them.
They are caught in this illusion that everything is going great until eventually, these men pull away for various reasons leaving these women in a state of panic and confusion.
That’s is when these women make the deadly mistake of chasing these men, pushing them even further and killing the slimmest attraction these men had for them.
What women need to understand is that men can engage for a long time with a woman they are not into.
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Do you wonder why he would do that?
He is lonely, he does not have a better option, he needs distraction, he wants some intimacy.
Men will not friend zone you just because they are not that into you, they will engage with you and behave like they are 100% in until a better option comes along or they are no longer enjoying the interaction.
Men like to have options in case their best one does not work out.
The worst thing you can do for your own sake and your self-esteem is to chase this type of man.
There is probably a good reason he was not that into you in the first place, a reason that you may have no control over.
So it is only for the better that you let him go and save yourself for someone who is genuinely interested in you and deserves your attention.
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2. He needs space
If you are in a loving relationship and he suddenly pulls away and disappears or is present with you but is colder, Don’t panic.
This might be just his instinct dictating his behavior and it does not mean he does not love you or care for you.
Men were not biologically built to be very close to a woman at all times.
Because when they do, their testosterone levels go down and they have a biological urge to get them back up.
In other words, men need to stay away from women to recharge their batteries in order for them to come back stronger.
It is only by feeling strong again that men can feel capable of giving the love and protection that their partner deserves.
In this case, the best advice I can give you is to not try to fight this instinct but to embrace it as part of your man’s nature.
If you do try to fight it, any man who claims his manhood will feel trapped like in a prison and will do anything to escape the relationship.
A woman who understands this basic need has one of the greatest secrets for long-lasting relationships.
You should also check out this relationship course to better understand men so that you know how to react to different situations that will arise in your relationship.
This program will take you deep into a man’s mind and psychology and will demystify what men really want and need for you. You will be better equipped after the program to create a loving and secure relationship whether you are currently single trying to date men or already in a relationship.
3. He was into you until you started being needy
He may have liked you at first when he met you but as he spent more time with you and got to know you more, he got overwhelmed with your neediness and maybe felt trapped if you showed him too much dependency on him and his validation and that’s when he started to pull away.
Let me ask you, have you been needy with him? Do you have needy tendencies? If you say yes to some of these behaviors, then yes you are:
- You want to be with him all the time
- You desperately want to please him
- You are always available for him
- You want to be part of all his plans
- You ask him to put you before all his family and friends.
- When he is away, you demand him to call you and text you all the time.
- You suspiciously agree with everything he says just because you are afraid to upset him
- You go to his place uninvited and you want to move in together quickly so that you can spend more time together.
- You said you loved him too quickly
If this is you, you need to learn how to be self-regulated, self-sufficient, and self-reliant for your emotional needs before you consider dating a man if you want to find love and have a happy life.
4. He met someone else
A Man pulling away can also be the result of him meeting a new person in his life. It could be a new colleague or someone he met at a party or even an ex coming back into his life.
Whatever the circumstances, if he is interested in another person, he will be less present, his calls and text will be less frequent and he will pay less attention to you.
How can you tell? It is not always easy to spot because some men are very good at concealing the signs but you can definitely watch out for these things:
- A more than usual work-related business
- A sudden change in his self-care routine and appearance
- A new female friend/colleague who he insists is in a relationship
- Not noticing your new haircut or makeup or new clothes
- Change of habits
These signs along with pulling away and being more distant can indicate that he met someone new and it is only a matter of time before he leaves you for the new person when he has the opportunity to do it.
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5. His “Hero instinct” emotional need is being met outside of your relationship
Men have a need to be someone’s hero, and they are naturally drawn to people who would make them feel that way because it’s through their instinct that men get to feel something.
the rest of the time, they are not in the “feeling” mode.
for that reason, if your man is suddenly pulling away, that is because he has this emotional need met outside of the relationship. It could be through work-related accomplishments, hobbies, bonding with friends, or with co-workers ( the worst type being female co-workers).
If you want to learn about the hero instinct and how you can use it to bond with your man and draw him back to you, check out this course.
6. He has issues to deal with
This one is not so obvious to women because women deal with their problems very differently from men.
When a woman has an issue, all she wants to do is talk about it. She needs to share her concerns with her circle and she will often ask for support and help from the closest people to her starting with her partner.
When a man has a problem, he does quite the opposite.
He often wants to be alone and hide in his man cave. He needs peace and quiet to try to work his issues out.
In this scenario, the best thing you can do is to wait for him to get out of his man cave when he is ready by himself and then try to engage with him. You can offer him help and support but never force him to talk about his issues.
The more you insist on him opening up to you the more resistant he will be to your help.
Now, what should you do when a man pulls away? How should you react to that?
The best reaction a woman can have to a man distancing himself from her is to create even more distance and give him space to wonder ” mmm…she does not seem to be bothered by my withdrawal and not even worried about our relationship, I wonder what she is up to”,
trust me, even if a man was not interested in you will ask himself that question if you don’t react to him pulling away by chasing him but rather by pulling yourself away even further from him. It is just human nature,
By doing that, you plant the seed of doubt in his mind that he has missed something, that he does not see the full picture, that an important piece of the puzzle is missing.
You can check out my more in-depth post on how to stay high value when he pulls away.
If you want to learn how to step up your dating and relationship game, if you want to learn how to become a high value woman men adore, check out this self help program.
This program will show you in detail how to transform yourself and your love life by understanding the dynamics of romantic relationships.
It will take you deep into a man’s mind and psychology and will demystify what men really want and need for you.
You will be better equipped after the program to create the loving and secure relationship of your dreams whether you are currently single trying to date men or already in a relationship.
Check it out here.
Also, grab your FREE “Attraction triggers in a man” guide.
Thanks for reading this post,