Behind every happy couple is a lot of work….not in a bad way, but in the sense that greatness and happiness in a relationship never comes easy, especially as time passes by. The build of a relationship is an art that some have been gracefully gifted the awareness to master.
Because if you did not know it, a certain level of awareness is required for someone to think that he or she needs to work hard in order to stay in love for the long haul…most of unaware people just give up when the passion of the early days fades away and move on to the next relationship.
So what do these happy couples do differently that guarantees them the longevity of their love? What is the secret behind their happy relationship, and how is it that they seem to get stronger as time goes by?
As someone who failed miserably at my first marriage, I can tell you that I know a thing or two about what makes a relationship suck.
The other side of this is that understanding my failure also helped me figure out exactly what could have saved my marriage, and by transitivity, what makes relationships great and strong over the long term.
I am going to get real in this post, not sugar coating anything to you…people need to be told the truth about relationships and get out of their fairy tale fantasies they locked themselves up in.
1. Accept it cannot be perfect
This is where I have an issue with fairy tales…
A lot of people think that the right relationship for them is “supposed” to be perfect. The ideal partner is supposed to perfectly fit their idea of what a lover should be like in every way and they are supposed to understand them perfectly and meet their needs at all times and all that nonsense.
Okay…everyone is entitled to their expectations, but some expectations are completely unrealistic and can only lead to disappointment.
Perfection is an illusion…only exists in mathematics (a theoretical discipline)…so expecting perfection in love matters is absolutely foolish.
You will not always agree with your partner, You will not always be happy with them, You will not always think they are smart and beautiful, they might annoy you sometimes,
As long as it is not the majority of the time, you are good.
2. Learn how to see the glass half full
3. Be grateful for the other person
Remember the time you were alone and wished with all your heart to be with someone? well remind yourself of these times and be grateful that you were blessed with someone What you have of the person as he or she is, accept them with their flaws, there must be something that drwns you to them in the first place
4. Don’t expect your partner to save you and make you happy
Learn to be happy and content on your own before you get into a relationship
5. Healthy communication
6. Express Love Regularly
7. Give support yo your partner when they need it
Go check out my detailed post on how to support your partner during hardships.
8. Be willing to work the issues out
This means you cannot be in a happy relationship if you are a stubborn person, unless the other person is a doormat.
9. Learn how to compromise
you probably heard this more than once, but I can confirm that it is a valid advice.
I am not saying you should compromise at any cost. there are thing I would not compromise on like my dating standards. but once you surpasses that, you need to be in the mindset of finding common grounds, compromising on your own preferences for the benefit of the couple.
10. Make date and “together time” rules
11. Accept that some problems can’t be solved
Sometimes the success of a relationships depends upon the ability of accepting that some problems simple cannot be solved and working around things as opposed to talking things through and finding common grounds every single time a dispute arises.
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15. Give each other space
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