Are you getting mixed signals from a guy? Are you wondering how he really feels about you because his words don’t match his actions? Do you find yourself trying to guess the meaning of what he says because he made it so unclear?
Let’s get real, mixed signals are one of the most annoying things that one could encounter in dating.
They leave us confused and frustrated…in an uneasy state of not knowing where we stand…one of the worst feelings ever especially when we care, and because they became part of the modern dating game, they deserve a dedicated post.
At the end of the day, all mixed signals mean the same thing. They mean that the person is unsure about you, that you are not their first choice and so they keep you as a backup plan, a free option – sorry for tough love.
For that reason, I want to share with you some of the most common mixed signals so that you can quickly recognize them, so that you want save yourself time and energy.
You need to learn how to quickly identify a mixed signal situation so that you can cut it short…Because trust me nothing good comes out of a guy who is sending mixed signals. He is just a time waster.
1. A random text after he ghosted you
When you have been ghosted, the message is quiet clear that he was not interested and he moved on to explore other options, but when a guy comes back after a period of ghosting, it does not mean he changed his mind about you and that his interest level changed miraculously over that period. He is just checking if you are still there and if you still care enough to answer. Maybe he is bored as all his other options died away and wants a quick ego boost.
2. Just wants to be friends but keep flirting with you
Sometimes a guy can genuinely like you and your company but is not willing to date you. I wrote a whole post on it that you can check here. This situation can be very confusing as you can feel some sort of chemistry and attraction between you too but nothing concrete follows. You don’t want to waste your time on someone who is only going to give you nice talks but has no intention to follow through with actions while still enjoying your company. You might be just a distraction for him, someone to have fun with, but not someone to invest in. Whatever his reasons not to want to date you, bottom line is he will not date you so move on to someone who is genuinely interested in building something with you.
3. Disappears after saying he really enjoyed going on a date with you and he never met a girl like you
This is a phenomenon most known as mosting. It is a bit like ghosting but a crueler version of it because it gives you the false impression that things went really well and build up needless expectations. This is how it goes: the guy sends you a text messages after going out on a date with you telling you how great you are and how he never met someone like you before and ghosts you immediately after….a bit like if he feels so guilty not to be interested that he wants to compensate that with nice words that would make a woman temporarily feel good. But what it does is more harm than anything else.
I am not sure why some guys feel the need to do this mosting thing. If a guy is not interested, he should just say it or ghost at the very worst, but there is no need to go overboard with this.
4. Saying he doesn’t want to date you because he is afraid of falling in love with you
What a nice way of putting it hein? He is afraid of falling in love with you and that is WHY he Does not want to date you…despite it sounding ridiculous, a lot of women, including myself ( or at least it used to be the case), buy into this. Why? Because it is so validating, it speaks to our shadow self who is in need for validation and recognition, that we are lovable and that someone is afraid of falling for us…but what we fail to see (because made blind by our emotions) is that this is just a tactic used by men to avoid hurting our feelings and being the bad buy if they tell us the truth.
5. Texting all the time but never asking you out
If you feel like the first date proposal will never come, you might be in this scenario. Here is a man who wants to keep in touch with you, enjoys the attention and entertainment but wants nothing more. Maybe he is lonely, maybe he is bored, but he obviously has no intention of asking you out. All he wants is to fill his spare time with some entertainment,
6. Always postponing the first date
A phenomenon also called serendipidating.
Unlike the previous point, here the guy seems up for taking you out, as he shows some enthusiasm when talking about going on a date with you, but…because there is a but, he has always a good excuse to postpone taking you out. That guy is playing games with you, he just wants to keep you hooked thinking that you guys have something going on while he is exploring other option.
7. Pulling away after few good dates
You might think that if you scored date 2 and date 3, there is a good chance that the guy really likes you, or at least he has some interest in you. I mean, you would not give a guy a second date if you did not like him at all…but guys often don’t work that way.
A guy may entertain a dating relationship for a while knowing that he will have to end it at some point, but still seem like his interest level is high…odds are this guy just wants to keep his options open and is probably seeing other people at the same time. If you notice a sudden pulling away, he might focusing on his other options before he gets back to you, which is why you should always be on alert for these red flag and don’t get too attached to these guys.
Breadcrumbing refers to the action of “scattering bread crumbs”.
In the context of dating, the guy is literally doing just enough to keep you on the hook, putting you in the illusion that there is some level of interest. He might send you random text messages to remind you of his existence and he could go as far as flirting with you again as if nothing happened in the hope that you will forget the periods he was gone missing. Again this is just a person who likes to keep his options open.
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9. He is not ready for a relationship but thinks you are “amazing, attractive, fun, his dream girl”
I wrote a more detailed post on the meaning “not ready for a relationship” but in a nutshell, it just means he does not like you enough to be in a relationship with you but doe s not have the courage to tell you.
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