In this post, I just want to explain what it means to be a challenge to a man.

You’ll hear that from many dating coaches as one of the biggest reasons why men lose interest and pull away when a woman stops being a challenge.

This post will also be helpful to women who have never been able to be a challenge to a man and are looking to build the foundations for their seduction game.


I personally find the phrase “to be a challenge” a bit too broad and very much open for interpretation.

When I first was told to be a challenge to men, I confused it with playing hard to get, the unhealthy way.

So I engaged in negative behavior with men such as:

  • Taking hours to respond to a text message.
  • Pretending not to care when I was already very attached.
  • Flirting with a man and then pulling back in the hope that he will chase me.
  • Sending mixt signals and doing the hot and cold thing.

I was doing these things thinking that this is what is required to get a man to fall for me.

Over the years and having seen only poor results, I came to realize that my own understanding of being a challenge was completely wrong.

There is a major difference between playing hard to get and actually BEING HARD TO GET, which is what I suggest is the same as being a challenge.

The main difference is that in BEING HARD TO GET, you are authentically someone who values herself while in PLAYING HARD TO GET; you are just acting as if you value yourself but you don’t carry the energy of high self-worth in you and that shows up sooner or later in your behavior.

That’s when a man realizes that he fell for an illusion and not the real you.

This whole game will turn against you because the man will feel cheated and will lose interest even harder.

Now, let’s talk about 5 ways that I suggest you can be hard to get or being a challenge in a healthy way:


1. Having a full life

As plain and simple as it may sound, having a full life is the easiest way to being a challenge to a man.

Because if you have so many great things going on for you, he will feel he needs to rise to the occasion and meet you where you are at, without you trying anything but living your life.

So what I suggest ladies is that you fill your life with positive, uplifting and activities that make you fall in love with your life every day.

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2. Having reasonable boundaries

This is the number 2 way of being a challenge to a man in a healthy way.

Having reasonable boundaries and showing your ability to enforce them will earn you the respect and admiration of men.

In their mind, they will think, here is a woman who knows what is acceptable and what is not acceptable for her and is not afraid to say no when necessary, at the risk of maybe upsetting him or losing him altogether.

In most times though, you will never lose a man over enforcing boundaries.

Instead, your attitude forces a man to always be on his best behavior and treat you well.


3. Not getting attached quickly

Attachment and bonding are natural consequences of being with a man.

You can’t help it and it defies the very purpose of being in a relationship if you try and suppress your emotions.

But here is what I have to say about that.

If you want to be a challenge to a man, you need to try and control the pace at which you get attached and you need to make the mental effort of not letting your emotions run the show.

You need to show that although you very much like him, a part of you remains rational and is very much in control of your decisions and that you can walk away if you see something you don’t like.

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4. Being intriguing and mysterious

By naturally having some mystery to you, you are more attractive to men.

Mysterious and enigmatic women have always been a challenge to men.

Men will think, Who is she? Why is there so much mystery about her? Why can’t I know what she does for a living or where she grow up?

The same goes for your feelings for him, you should not be telling him right away that you like him and that he is the one you waited for your entire life.

Instead, you should notice your feelings yet remain unreactive to them.

Continue observing his behavior.

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5. Being unpredictable

And cultivating an aura of unpredictability so that he never gets bored of you and his attraction to you doesn’t fade away.

Now some people will tell you to use dark tactics to achieve unpredictability but my take on how to be unpredictable in a healthy way is simply by embracing unpredictability in your own life and becoming comfortable with the unknown.

If you are able to navigate a day without knowing exactly what you are going to do at every minute of the day and you remain open to surprises and trying new things, you will naturally become unpredictable, because you are unpredictable even to yourself.

It’s a lot of fun and makes your life a lot more exciting.

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Are you currently dating or in a relationship?

When you are ready, If you want to step up your dating and relationship game and learn how to become a high value woman that men adore, check out this self help program.

This program will help you understand the complex dynamics of romantic relationships and show you how to transform yourself in order to become high value.

It will take you deep into a man’s mind and psychology and will demystify what men really want and need in a woman.

You will be better equipped after the program to create the loving and secure relationship of your dreams. Check it out here.

Also, grab your FREE “Attraction triggers in a man” guide.


Thanks for reading this post,

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