Somewhere along your dating journey, you may come across a man who ignores you after you established a certain level of connection, a man who went silent on you without prior warning.
It usually comes in the form of not taking your calls and responding to your texts.
So what is he thinking? Is he ghosting you? Is it totally over? What does his silence mean? and How should you react to it?
With regards to ghosting, you may assume he ghosted you only after 2 weeks ( in my experience), but believe it or not, a man not responding for a week is still not considered ghosting.
He may easily come back to you and say he was extremely busy and never had a chance to call you or text you.
The real question is should you believe him? or should you see that as a signal of where he stands in regards to you and a potential relationship with you?
As someone who was blinded to any sort of signal from men, I have now become an expert in reading signals.
I came to realize that often the truth is not told but hidden in nonverbal cues, attitudes, actions, and non-actions, but very rarely in words.
So here is my 2 cents on a man who ignores you:
First of all, you should have different expectations depending on the kind of relationship you have with this man.
If you are friends with benefits or even just started dating, a man is more likely to ignore you and go silent on you every now and then, as most men feel they don’t owe you much and they tend to care less about your feelings at this point.
But if you are in a relationship and you just did not make it official yet, you should expect less ignoring and silence.
In fact, no one day should go without you hearing from him.
So if it happens, it’s a big red flag and scenario 2 is more likely to be what he is thinking.
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Scenario 1. He wants you to chase him ( he is testing you and how attached you are to him)
Men will want to make you chase them because they started receiving this advice from other dating coaches for men.
They are told to “test her” and “see if she really likes you”,
He is essentially trying to get the upper hand and make you lose some of your power by triggering an emotional reaction in you and tap into the “fear” of losing him.
One thing is for sure, you should not chase him, meaning you should not react to his manipulation, because if you do, you will lose your power and you are doomed to always react to him and what he wants as the relationship progresses.
Scenario 2. He is unsure
In this case, this man is not really playing games, testing you, or wanting you to chase him for some ego boost, but is it unfortunately still not good news.
A man can ignore you simply because he is unsure of how he feels about you.
So he is taking some distance to give himself the space he needs to think about your relationship in a neutral environment and see how he feels after he regains clarity over his feelings.
One thing you must know is that it’s not always something you said or something you did.
Sometimes men are unsure for reasons which have nothing to do with you, over which you may have no control and so you will have little influence over his decision.
But other times, men will be unsure based on something which comes from you, and in my experience, the most common behavior that gets a man to become unsure is neediness.
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Scenario 3. He wants to make a point because you behaved badly
In this case, your guy is most likely a mature man who sets boundaries for himself and if he comes across a woman who crosses one of his boundaries, he withdraws himself from her.
If you crossed a line somewhere, if you disrespected him, if you behaved entitled in some way or became emotional or authoritative, he might very well be giving you the silent treatment to make you realize what you did.
He is also doing it out of respect for himself, and in this case, the best thing you can do is to be absolutely clear on what you did and what was wrong with it and get in touch with him to apologise without come off too strong on him,
Your apology should come across as a move from a mature woman who is self-aware and hopefully makes him change his mind about you.
Scenario 4. He knows you are not the one
Sometimes, a man did not need to take the space and the distance from a woman to realize she ain’t the one for him.
Some men know themselves better than others and somehow manage to form an opinion based on a few but important factors.
Usually, these are men with great clarity in their minds and a good understanding of who they are.
The confusing thing is that sometimes a man would have acted in such a way that it made you feel like you were the one for him, maybe he even said it to you that you were the ONE, but that’s usually driven by intense feelings of attraction at the initial stage of a relationship and cannot last more than a few weeks.
As soon as things cool down, a man recovers his senses and starts thinking logically, and that’s when he starts seeing you for who you really are, and sometimes it can make him fall more in love with you, and some other times it can turn him off.
Scenario 5. He is unsure but still wants to keep his options open
Unfortunately, many men like to keep their options open.
That’s so unfair on women but it is a reality that has to be acknowledged.
your job as a woman dating men is to make sure you are not entertaining someone who is only seeing you as an option.
You can check out my in-depth post on the signs a man is not serious about a woman
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So what do you do when a man goes silent on you and ignores you? ( coming soon)
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